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How can I stop feeling less than other men?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by blu3her0, Sep 26, 2016.

  1. blu3her0

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    This is getting insane, every time I get attracted to a man, I end up feeling so bad about myself because it's like I'm never enough. as a person or as a gay man. not enough good looking, not enough wealthy, not enough confident or not manly enough. Now I'm almost obsessed with getting a 6 pack, I'm ''skinny fat'' 183 cm, 79 Kg with a little gut.
    The thing is, for example, when I see a man with a big chest, I feel bad because I don't have one, a guy that exudes confidence makes me feel bad because I'm not confident at all, a man who is wealthy makes me feel bad cause I can barely pay my bills, a man with light blue eyes with a perfect tan makes me feel bad cause I have brown eyes and skin and the list goes on... I DO know this is not a healthy way of spend a life, but I can't help it. I always feel at disadvantage, so I never approach guys that I like. They usually have ''features'' that I don't, so the nasty circle never ends..... I don't know when this started honestly. Every time that I have a crush on someone is a torture. I like the guy and I wanna be like him, but I never approach, so end up with a f**king mix of feelings that I just can't describe. Why being gay is so hard? :/ damn any suggestion?
     
  2. Gravity

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    It can be easy to judge yourself based on other men - in every relationship, crush, etc., someone will be a little taller (or shorter), someone's chest will be a little bigger, and so on and so on. But it doesn't mean that you're not attractive, or that nobody will find your attractive. Someone could just as well be looking at you and thinking "man, I wish I was skinny like that guy, I could never go up to him and say hi."

    Have you come out to anyone? If not, maybe that would be a good first step - being yourself and getting some positive feedback from people might help build confidence. Getting to know gay people as friends, rather than as potential dates, might help as well.
     
  3. Totesgaybrah

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    THIS
    I'm the same height as the OP and I would kill(well maybe not) to weigh that much.

    I know how the OP feels though, like oh this guy is rich or super smart or has a really cute face or is in really good shape, or has a ton of confidence, charisma.
    All things I lack.

    You are probably judging yourself too harshly, you most likely have many features that other guys find attractive.
     
  4. anthracite

    anthracite Guest

    Do sport and watch your body evolve into perfection. Great for confidence! Fix the things that make you feel bad and don't beat yourself up if you make mistakes. Mistakes are good, if you learn from them. Tell yourself every hour: I have the opportunity to be the person I want to be. And I'm going to use it.
     
  5. Jax12

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    I can relate. I look at other men like that as well, sometimes I can't even tell if I'm attracted to them or if I just want to look like them.

    I had to accept the body that I was born with. I've been going to the gym now for a little over a year and I've lost weight (which wasn't the plan, I actually wanted to gain muscle so my weight should have gone up). Have you thought about heading to the gym and getting a workout in every so often?

    Regardless, someone will approach you or want to approach you with the same thought that you have. You'll be surprised when that day comes.
     
  6. OldDog1952

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    I think your over thinking the whole thing. First of all have you heard the expression opposites attract. How do you know if that muscle man wants someone just like him. Maybe what he wants is A soft skinny girly boy. You'll never know because your afraid to talk to him. You don't have to be perfect for someone to want you. This is just your own doubt holding you back. And fear of rejection. Get over it. Even the most beautiful people get rejected from time to time. You need to stop envying others they have flaws just like anyone else. Trust me nobody's perfect. Stop being afraid to talk to guy's they aren't all self centered. You'll never learn to swim if your afraid to get wet.