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Isolated and quickly falling into deep depression

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by BlueJay1, Sep 29, 2016.

  1. BlueJay1

    Regular Member

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    Hi there.

    I'm 24, and I live with my older brother. We got kicked out of our apartment (due to having a dog) 3 months ago, and we were moving from motel to motel. Currently, we're living in one of my brothers friends house, but it's way out in the country area and I'm very isolated here. I'm stuck in the house all the time, as I can't drive and buses don't come way out here. My only hope of ever getting out is if my brother drives me somewhere, but he's very busy working all the time (sometimes even on the weekends), so that's not very often. We've been here for a month...

    I'm alone all day, everyday... Thank god for my dog, but I need to be around actual humans... I can't stand being so isolated, because it's too lonely and there's absolutely nothing to do. It also reminds me of the way I used to live (Isolated myself in my parents' house 24/7 for years and years due to being extremely shy and insecure about myself. I'm better now...), and I cannot handle it.

    I'm quickly falling into a deep depression being alone all the time, and it doesn't help that I'm still struggling with gender identity issues. It makes me feel even more alone than I already am. I'm also falling back into my self-harm habits, which obviously isn't good.

    My energy level is getting lower by the day, and all I really want to do is sleep and watch TV... I need to be studying for my GED (through books and the internet), but I've lost the motivation for it. I haven't studied at all in a week. My brother thinks I'm still studying, but I've been lying to him about it. I feel bad for lying to him, but at the same time, I don't want him to be disappointed in me. I feel like I'm becoming the old me again, and I absolutely hate it. But I feel hopeless...

    Any advice? Any help is greatly appreciated, thanks! :slight_smile:
     
  2. Darthsam

    Regular Member

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    I'm sorry to here your having a hard time stay strong don't do anything crazy your not alone If you need to talk I'm here
     
  3. TigerInATophat

    Regular Member

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    Distraction can be helpful, vital in fact, to stop you from dwelling too much on the isolation. Spending too much time focusing on that which is making you unhappy will set you on a downward spiral and cause other areas of your life to stagnate in the process - as you have probably already noticed given that your studying has been affected.

    Try to find things that keep yourself and your mind occupied. Even if you currently lack the motivation for goals which require more persistence like studying or hobbies there can be simple things that do not require as much focus. Are you able to get outside in general, even if not to go anywhere in particular? Getting outside for a bit of fresh air and exercise sounds simple but is actually one of your best weapons against this, it needn't be anything strenuous either if your energy levels are low, even something as simple as walking the dog will help you escape the same four walls. Take it from someone who has spent a good number of years having to fight against the physical limitations of my own body just to get things done; whatever little you can manage will prove helpful to keep you going even if it seems comparatively insignificant to what you'd like to be doing. In particular if you feel you are sinking into depression there is a lot to be said for exercise being beneficial. Don't worry yourself too much about the lack of studying if you really don't feel your head is in the right place right now. Tackle that a little at a time as and when you feel ready.

    Also try to get into the habit of reminding yourself that what you are experiencing right now is only temporary; 'This living situation will not last forever,' 'This feeling is a bad feeling, but it will pass.' Acknowledge that you have been through this before and got through it then, give yourself credit for that and realise that you can do so again.

    In terms of interacting with people, there is online failing anything else. But talking to your brother might help if it is likely he'd be supportive, you have no need to feel ashamed of going through a difficult time. You're only human, it happens. Don't be too hard on yourself for it. (*hug*)