So I am 15 and have been dealing with a lot of peerpressure to have my first kiss. It's not as though I haven't been dating or anything I mean my last boyfriend and I dated for nearly two years and then I was only single 4 months before I got with my current boyfriend of 7 months I just haven't really felt like it was the right time. My boyfriend is bein super nice about it all but recently he's been asking if I'm ready more frequently or pointing out that it's been 7 months and I haven't even given him more than a one armed hug. A lot of our friends have been pushing us too they always tease him for waiting for my permission and then they always ask me if I plan on kissing him soon. I am getting really tired of all my friends asking me if we've kissed or the fact that after the homecoming dance or when we go to the movies if he tried to kiss me. Some days I think if we kiss it will make it easier because all of that will go away and my parents won't keep asking me who I want to have my first kiss with or if I really think my boyfriend and I are serious. I keep trying to explain that I don't see the point in kissing because you are just sharing germs to show affection and while I'm not a germophobe I just don't like being touched and kissing is just a bit intimate for my interest. I'm always met with either blank looks or the classic "you'll grow out if this" speech. And sometimes I think it might be easier to just wait and have my first kiss with my first girlfriend and I honestly don't think kiss or not that my boyfriend and I will last since he is a year older than me and is moving way too fast and already talking about us moving in together and getting married and I still have a lot of growing up to do. I know this probably seems like stupid teenage drama but it's a serious matter for me and everyone else in my class has already had their first kiss years ago my mom has started teasing me because I'm almost 16. Please just take the time to help me with this.
Hi nightowl88: Sorry for the delay in responding; I was offline for a bit and didn't see your post. I think you are very wise to keep whatever physical contact you have with your boyfriend within the limits of what you feel comfortable with. In the counselling world this is known as "enforcing your boundaries"; boundaries are limits that we set on our own and others' behavior that ensure that we feel OK with what's taking place. By paying attention to how we feel and only doing things that feel OK, we ensure that our self esteem is maintained in good working order. This applies to all people at any age. Not paying attention to how we feel and letting other people dictate what we do, especially with our bodies, is a recipe for feeling things like guilt, shame and self-hatred. I encourage you to continue to set the limits that you feel appropriate and not listen to the people who insist that you do things on their schedule. No two people are alike in their social development and it's ridiculous to think that certain "events" have to take place by a certain time. You are still very, very young and life is not a video game, after all. I also encourage you to look up "setting physical boundaries" and "defining the relationship" and even writing down and periodically reviewing what your boundaries are and what type of relationship(s) you wish to have, including platonic. Again, I think you are very wise to listen to yourself about what you feel comfortable with and I encourage you to continue to do so.
what Wickedwitch said ^^^^ don't do something you're not comfortable with. It'll just make you feel uncomfortable and violated. Enforce your boundaries, even if it may hurt someones feelings.
Hi nightowl 88, I totally agree with what the other two have been saying. Also, I think that being 15 and not having had your first kiss yet is perfectly normal. I'm 19 now and I still haven't had mine. When I was 15, I didn't even think about kissing. The same applies to some friends of my friends. Make sure to take your time and only do what you're comfortable with. You'll be fine!
