So, I've been in love with this woman since I was 17. She also happened to be my high school teacher. I am four years into university now and a couple of days ago, I went to my high school to get "closure" from her. I admitted to her that I had feelings for her, a mental illness, and that I was "facebook stalking" her. She told me she was concerned for her safety. I was surprised today to see a police officer at my house telling me I'm no longer allowed on school premises. Is this fair? Isn't she overreacting? I'm not a dangerous person and I just find it ignorant that she thinks I'm dangerous just because I have a mental illness. Furthermore, if I wanted to visit any of the other teachers, I wouldn't be able to. I wasn't planning on visiting the school again anyway but I still find it unfair that if I were to, then I would basically get arrested especially because in my mind, I didn't do anything wrong.
I don't know exactly what you told her, but I would freak out if someone came to me after not having seen them for several years and told me they can't forget about me and are stalking me and have a mental illness (especially if they don't tell me what mental illness). A restraining order would be one of the first things on my mind too at that point too. You really have to think about it from her perspective. This has built up for so long in your mind that you needed to get closure, but she has probably not even thought about you since you left high school. You suddenly appear out of the blue and give her all this information, much more than necessary too. You should really have left out the Facebook stalking and mental illness parts, and just let her know you still remember her and had feelings for her. Then she could have shut you down and you could have gotten closure and that would have been it. Depending on what you mean by "stalking", it is not unusual for people to check out people they like on Facebook. It is just something you don't tell people because it is unnecessary and a creepy thing to say. If by "stalking" you mean obsessively checking her Facebook page and committing every little detail of it to memory and saving her pictures to your computer or something, then that is just genuinely creepy and legitimate stalking. It is really unfortunate that you can't go back to your high school anymore, at least not for a while, but it might be for the better for you too. You will have a chance to get over it without being allowed to talk to her again, which you probably feel compelled to do in order to settle the misunderstanding, but it would just make you seem all that much more dangerous and obsessed right now. So please leave it at this and accept that you made a mistake, don't obsess over it. I know it will be difficult and it probably hurts a lot because you have feelings for her and she shut you down hard like this. Do you have a therapist who you can talk to about this whole episode? I think that could help you get some final closure on this, and to help you develop a more healthy relationship with your feelings of attraction in the future. TL;DR: Your teacher had every reason to be concerned for her safety. You know you are not dangerous, but in her eyes you already showed in several ways that you are not able to control yourself, so how can she know you are not willing to take more extreme measures?
There is a difference between a stalker and someone who is aware that they are stalking and are suffering from it.
What were your motives for admitting these things to your former teacher? It sounds like such a bizarre thing to do, and an error of judgement.
What I only meant was that she used the word stalking when she told her teacher of "Facebook stalking" her. Bad choice of word.
