Ok so here's my deal is that I'm deffinatley in love with my best friend I've known him for 8 years now and he's been my best friend for about 5 now. When this started out we were just good friends but my senior year he moved in with me at my mom's he was having a falling out with his family and needed out. After a few months of living here and the more time we spent together the more I fell for him he's a great guy we have so much in common same humour same interests he's always been awesome to me and I've done so incredibly much for him. When he lived here at first he always slept in the couch and eventually started sharing my bed with me not that he couldn't go to the couch whenever and never really made a fuss about it like it was normal. Anyway he had a stint where he had an addiction problem won't go into detail but during that time I was the only one there for him while the rest of his family turned their backs on him we say I love you to each other all the time which I'm aware can just be a friend thing but the day he told me about his addiction problem he cried on my shoulder (we had also been drinking) that was the first time I said anything to him about how I felt I told him that he's the only guy I would do anything with and he looked at me and said do you wanna do something we won't remember in the morning I said what's that and then he stopped said nevermind and went to sleep (he didn't remember this) things went on normally for awhile is hanging out for days at a time and everything was good the next instance was a time again when we had been drinking at his house where he had to beds in his room (shared room with his brother) where when we were about to sleep he said u can sleep with me (his brother was gone) of course I said yes everything was fine Again now fast forward to the last 3 months he was still having a hard time with his addiction and was in a bad spot in life with his father passing away earlier this year he didn't want to continue and was going to kill himself but the day before he was going to we were hanging out and he said he felt like I was his soulmate I shrugged it off kind of because I didn't want to weird him out I still felt he meant it as a friend thing I didn't know he was about to kill himself the next day he met a girl who offered him a place out of the he'll hole he was in ( I offered to he hates my mom for reasons so he didn't want to) he said yes and moved in with her at first it was to help get clean him and his brother but then they hooked up and now they are dating she's a psycho bitch and I know he sees it I'm not just saying that out of jealousy and that's not the point in this post anyway about a week after they started dating he came over and we hung out like normal got drunk played games had a good night and I mentioned something about talking to someone 1st work about being a virgin (a lie to the guy at work because I hooked up with a dude and didn't feel comfortable at the time) and my buddy said I knew u were a virgin still I said well that's complicated. And told him that I hooked up with a guy and then told him how I felt about him and he got a huge grin on his face and was like really well how would that work he didn't out right say would u wanna fuck me or me fuck you but he stumbled on the words. I broke down kind of because I assumed he was always straight and it wouldn't happen anyway so I never brought it up because I was worried I might lose him. He was completely accepting he also said I wish you would have told me sooner. Again he slept in here with me that night and still does when he's here usually. Since I told him how I felt things have been normal really it's been hard for me but every time we drink and he gets drunk he acts different than normal he hugs me and he's kind of all over me at times he's done some shit twice now where he's grabbed at my dick and said some off the wall things to me. He's said that my hair is sexy which isn't a big thing but a straight guy who claims to be a homophobe wouldn't call another guy sexy in anyway he drops hints all the time but he's got a girlfriend. He's also been kind of distant here the last few weeks and I'm not sure if it's because he's running some type of game on her and in a way using her. I feel like he really likes me more than just a friend because of the other shit in the past there was also a time a few weeks ago we dropped acid and he said to me that he never gets me to myself and started to say something and was like uhhh never mind I lost it which happens with acid ur brain runs a mile a minute I'm not entirely sure what advice I'm looking for here I guess it would be does it seem like there's a chance I'm not going to push the issue his brother is also gay but he's a piece of shit. But his dad was hardcore against it he still loved his kid but he bashed him all the time for being gay and I'm thinking maybe he doesnt want to express any other feeling because of that even tho his dad has passed it still might be a subconsious thing for him and that if I should try to wait for him to come to terms with any feelings like that he has or what anyway thanks for taking the time to read this
I think maybe you should just talk to your friend about what he's feeling. It's obvious he's having conflicted feelings about how he feels towards you and himself, and considering he's so comfortable around you I doubt there's any harm in approaching him about it. I wouldn't push it so far as to ask him if he likes you, but in a general concerned manner, like asking him if he's been feeling okay, that he can talk to you about anything, as a friend; and yes, I also understand you love him, but for the moment it's quite evident he's scared of whatever he's feeling, and I'm sure more than anything at the moment he needs a supportive friend to confide in. I wouldn't take my advice to action, though, I've never had to deal with anything like this hehe. I wish you would've made an introduction post first friendo , and one final thing, maybe try to space out your post a bit? This was a struggle to read
Well if you want to help him with an addiction problem you shouldn't be using drugs with him. Beyond that, you wrote out plenty of plain messages you've received that indicate he likes you. And you've told him how you feel about him. So it's really all there--you shouldn't need much reassurance from us at this point. Once a few things are stabilized, especially your (both of your) relationships with drugs and so forth, I do not see any reason why you couldn't be good friends for a long time to come, if not much more than that. Have that talk with him, do it when you're both fully conscious. See where it goes. The signals look decent from here.
Yeah I should have made an intro post sorry about that and I should have spaced it out more I was just in a more to get it out there lol. Thanks both of you for your responses as far as his drug use goes he's been clean for 3 months. Other than the few things that we have done which I don't consider hard drugs. I always thought there might be more to it but wasn't sure because of how he acted and most of how he acted changed after I told him.how I felt. My biggest thing right now is that I hardly get to see him any more or hang out because of his current girlfriend and I get how he feels about her as well he says he's not attracted to her but she gave him a place to stay and things that I couldn't provide for him like she could which was a house with no drama basically but because of them dating and him living with her he barely hangs out with me but like once every 2 weeks and I'm pretty sure that's because she doesn't like me and he's worried about making her mad and losing a place to stay. He would be more than welcome to move in here with me but as I said he's not a big fan of my mom because she did him wrong I feel if I could afford my own place he would move in with me.
