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Questioning and very uncomfortable

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Shasta, Oct 21, 2016.

  1. Shasta

    Regular Member

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    I feel ashamed about the fact I'm questioning and have crush. I feel like it's wrong
     
    #1 Shasta, Oct 21, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2016
  2. B a r e f o o t

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    We love who we love and we can't control that. Whether we find ourselves loving someone of the same sex or opposite, or whether we fall in love with the cute or plain, the brunette or the blonde, it's all the same. We don't decide to love or not love someone. No one has that kind of power. Shame is taught, by parents, by society, in school perhaps or wherever, but it is someone elses morals that have been imposed and impressed on you. Often society is hypocritical. People will put others down while doing the same or harbouring similar thoughts and desires in secret. Shame is a kind of programming, and it can and all too often does, lead people into living their lives; wasting their time on earth actually, trying to fulfill the wishes of others that can never be fulfilled. Some people are simply mean spirited, and even if you were to comply, they would change the "rules" in order to continue persecuting you. You must learn to please yourself and that you cannot please others, nor can others give you true happiness. Each person must find their own happiness. Unfortunately some don't understand that, and so to make themselves feel better temporarily they make others miserable, sometimes by putting false shame on them. False shame feels the same as real shame, but false shame is based on a lie. When you believe such a lie, you feel shame but it is false shame. False shame is useless. When you harm someone and feel shame, that is real shame. See the difference? I wish you well.
     
  3. falconfalcon

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    well . someone probably shamed you. You dont have to feel this way. Would you like to talk more a bout it here to help you work it out?

    Those feelings have to come from somewhere :wink:
     
  4. Shasta

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    Are talking about the feelings for my crush or the feelings of shame.

    14yrs ago when I fell for a local news personality I was shamed. We eventually became very close friends. I was more intevested in the relationship than she was. Do to the pressures of being a local celebrity she eventually developed a drinking problem. I became codependent. My life revolved around her.