Hello so i am Sam and i am 14 years old. I met this really cute 18 year old guy through kik who lives nearby... i know im still young and its a big age difference. I asked for his name then i stalked his instagram account to make sure he really is the guy he told me he is, turns out he wasnt lying. He seemed really nice through chat and he seemed to be really caring about me. Now we are considering skyping then meeting up online... im not sure if i should do it although i really want to. If you think i shouldn't then please tell me why, and if you think i should then please tell me how i can stay safe (note: we were thinking meeting up at the mall). Please take into consideration that he seemed really nice and he didnt seem to be lying about anything in the chat but i can never be sure and i dont wanna meet him so that it turns out he will sexually abuse me or something like that. (According to his instagram account he is a believing and practicing christian if that helps..)
He is an adult and you are under the age of consent. There is potentially a huge risk for both of you - and a big risk for him legally if you guys do anything sexual and get caught. I would look for guys your own age.
Do not do this behind your parents'/guardians' backs. Talk it over with them and be completely honest. If they agree, there should be at least one trust adult that accompanies you. If you are unable to do this, it's for your own safety that you keep this relationship strictly online. Contrary to popular belief, as long as you don't give out sensitive information you should be safe. Just because he looks and acts earnest does not mean he is trustworthy. If he is truly a good person, then he will not be upset with you if you keep things at a distance. Best of luck, and please be careful.
There's great advice already given, but I'll second it anyway. If I can think of 3 good reasons not to do something then it's probably a bad idea, and I don't do it. Here are my 3 reasons you shouldn't meet him: 1. You have no idea who this guy really is. 2. He's 4 years older than you. 3. A sexual encounter would be a crime, landing him in prison and creating problems for you too. Do not meet this guy. You don't really know him and you are 4 years apart, which is actually quite a lot. If something sexual were to happen (despite your intentions) it would be a legal mess for both of you. Patrick
If you do meet him, with parental consent of course, do so under adult supervision, in a public place. Go with a trusted adult to meet him. You only know what he has told you and, what searching the internet for him can reveal, not a lot about who he really is. Even for an adult, meeting someone you only know online is a risk. For both of you, it's insanely risky, you are still a minor and he is an adult, plain and simple, anything you can't do in public should never happen and, you should never be alone with him. he's older, bigger, stronger and, you don't know what he might try if givven the sightest opportunity - don't give him that opportunity.
Hey Sam! First of all, let me tell you that I totally understand the temptation of wanting to meet up with a cute man who is nice to you. I'm sure you feel close to this person and want to spend time with him. However, your story is ringing some big alarm bells for me. As you pointed out before, there is an age gap between you and this is a big problem. At 14, in most countries, you are a minor. At 18 he would be widely regarded as an adult. You are experiencing totally different things in your life. As a young teenager, you are still growing and learning about yourself - this makes you vulnerable (even if you don't feel like it right now). Really, he should respect that and not pursue any kind of romantic relationship with you - nor should he put any pressure on you to meet up with him. Of course he seemed nice online, but as you very rightly point out - *everyone* seems nice online, this is no guarantee that he isn't using you for something. People do meet other people from the Internet - but because you're so young this places you in a very dangerous situation. My advice is not to meet up with this person, and honestly I think he's too old for you. The above posters are right. Don't let yourself get pulled into a situation that is dangerous or illegal. I know this isn't the advice you want to hear. I bet this guy seems so lovely and you just want to go with your heart - but please, use your head. It sounds like your gut is already telling you this might be a bad idea. If he's really as nice as you say, he should respect and understand that as a young person, you need to be extra cautious about who you get involved with.
Very good points raised here. If I were you, I'd stick to chatting online and/or Skype. Even if nothing sexual happens on the date, you being 14 and him being 18 may not sound like a big age difference, but like I'mgay47 said, he's an adult. Meaning, he probably has a job, and you're in school. Developmental-wise, he's also a long way ahead of you. Not only physically but emotionally and mentally. Things that are "cool" to you, are "boring/been there, done that" to him. And even if (and that's a big "if") he's completely honest with you or whoever else sees his online information, he could very well still have ulterior motives. Remember, people can be anything and anyone they want to be online. Example: When I am bored, I go to an online chat site, and have created so many personas that I can't even name them all. I've changed my age, my descriptions, etc. and made up a fake name for myself, lie about being a slender-built model-type of blonde woman living on my own, whilst, back at the ranch, I'm a big-boned overweight nowhere close to model-type person who still lives with my parents... See where I'm going with this? I'm not saying this guy is lying or that he created fake profiles, but you are still young and naïve. We've all been there, but have since gained world knowledge. If this guy is as genuine and nice as you believe he is, then he will understand that you are a little hesitant to meet him in person whilst you are still under legal age of consent. If you really want to meet him in person, then at least take an adult with you. Can be a cousin, friend, parent, sibling, uncle, anyone. They don't have to chaperone the whole "date" but can stay at a safe distance and just check that things are okay. ---------- Post added 1st Nov 2016 at 02:53 AM ---------- I agree with Spartan too. Great advice. Please take this to heart and don't endanger yourself (*hug*)
