I hope this is the right forum to post this thread. Ok guys, I'll try to make it as short as possible. I live in a very religional country and I came out to my family 2 months ago. However, they didn't accept me as I am, but things are kinda under control. Sadly, I still live with them because I'm trying so hard to earn and save every single dollar for my future. I was always a fat kid and this year, I lost like 100 lbs. However, I still have bunch of loose/saggy skin. Also, I always had bad teeth and that's why I'm trying to earn nice amount of money and get it done for whole life. And everything of that makes me feel bad and that's the reason why I never tried to go on a date or something... Anyway, I felt really lonely last week, so I went to some gay chat and I just wanted to talk with people there, never thought of anything more serious. However, there was some guy that lives close to my city and we started chatting and it continued... for days... He even sent me his picture... He said that he has never met someone like me before and he feels like he knows me whole life... Now he wants to meet in LIVE... and he wants to see my picture now... And that's a big problem for me, I didn't want to do this. I mean I like him a lot and he understands me, but I know he won't like me and I don't want anyone to see this really bad side of me. I feel like a mean fake idiot who is trying to do bad stuff. Guys, I swear I wasn't planning anything of this. I don't know what to do. I do care about him and I can't just leave him like that, but then again I can't even go and meet him. I feel like a really bad person now and it hurts a lot. Please guys, you can judge me and say bad stuff, but please, just say something, please...
Be honest, tell him where you came from, what you are saving to have done and do. He likes you, he will understand. When you care for a person, the person means more than the body. Sure the body is the focus for a one time hook up but, not for a relationship. Look, we all have bodies, not a single one of them is perfect and, everyone of them will change over time, we are all going to end up old sag bags one day, just a fact of life. Sure you take care of your body, as best you can, you do your best to look and feel your best and, that's all anyone can do. If this guy can't understand that money is an issue for you right now, he's not much of a friend or lover anyway. Just be honest, be you and go for it.
If after seeing , he loses his interest in you and stop chatting, then, it's for you to move on. Maybe, next time you chat with someone, lay the cards on the table so that there's no expectation for both sides. Meaning, if you have no plan of meeting anyone in the future and you're just happy with chatting then you have to say this in the beginning. There are a lot of people who like you don't want to go to the next level but there are some who want to meet up and know more about the person for possible real relationship. Be real to your intention in the beginning so that the person knows what to expect from you. Good luck.
Please don't worry yourself about it. I don't think you have done something so bad - seriously, what have you really done to hurt anyone? Nothing. You haven't done anything to harm anyone at all, not at all. You just wanted to talk to someone - there is NOTHING wrong with that. One of my favorite songs growing up was a beautiful (well, beautiful for a rock n roll song!!) song I think it was called No Myth, by Michael Penn. The chorus is "Maybe she's just looking for - someone to dance with" It's a song about a man who danced with a girl he liked, but she left it at that. He sings - what if I was Romeo, in black jeans? What if....... Maybe she's just looking for - Someone to dance with And its sad - but IT HAPPENS. Its OK Just be honest with him. Just say you aren't sure you are ready. You can say you just came out to your family recently, you can say your shy about your teeth and saving up to get them fixed, whatever - you can say you just wanted to talk, and aren't comfortable meeting yet, even though you like him. Just let him know you aren't comfortable with yourself - It Happens You NEVER have to go farther with someone than you are comfortable - whatever that is, and for whatever reason The only thing you owe to him is to be yourself. Just b e yourself. If this is how you feel, that's OK It would be nice to just let him know why - that you are shy abo ut your teeth, that you just came out, etc., but you DON'T HAVE to even do that. Just be respectful, and be yourself Take care
Guys, thank you very much for your kind replies, it really means a lot... I know what you are saying about being honest with him and tell him everything, but I can't really do that. I mean I want to be clear with him, but I'm not ready to go out with him like this. I need some time and I told him so and now he is giving me all the time I need but he still wants to see my picture. He is really kind to me and I know it's all my fault, but him being kind is making me feel bad. He keeps saying nice stuff and that was supposed to be a nice thing, but it's getting worse. Honestly, I don't know what to do or what to say, but I can't just leave him like that. Next month, I have to move to another city because I found a better job and these days I'm all worried about it, now this happened... I'm just confused... Sorry for being a drama queen or something, I just don't want to hurt any of us and obviously whatever I do, it's gonna end bad... @Lora I did say that I came there just to chat with nice people and he was ok with it, but I guess we've spent too much time together chatting. I mean I never met a person who was spending that much time talking with me and caring about me. I know I sound naive and stuff, but even tho it's just an online thing, I still have bunch of emotions :/ I really appreciate your answers guys, wish u all the best in this world and thank you for everything, if u have something more to say, feel free, it means a lot... <3
