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Advice On How To Deal With A Friend?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Trace1496, Nov 2, 2016.

  1. Trace1496

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    Sorry if this is a little long, but I am needing advice on what to do so I am going to tell ya'll the whole story.

    I was in a Mental Hospital for two weeks about two months ago. In there I made two special friends, and we bonded. Once we all got out we hung together, and discovered that our friendship was strong. I am not going to use their real names for safety reasons so I am going to call them Bonnie, and Clyde (lol). Bonnie and Clyde though had a pact with each other. If either one had suicidal thoughts they would go to each other and open up about it. So two weeks ago, Bonnie and Clyde met halfway (they live two hours apart) and got a hotel room. Bonnie told Clyde that she was having suicidal thoughts, but they were just thoughts, and she had no plan to actually go through with them. They talked, and seemed like everything was fine. Well, a day later Clyde calls me, and is crying about Bonnie having suicidal thoughts and doesn't know what to do because she is worried about Bonnie. I tell Clyde that maybe we need to call Bonnie and talk with her. So we did. Clyde was all in agreement with what I was saying, which was if you think you need to go back to the hospital to keep yourself safe then you need to go. Well, Bonnie felt pushed in a corner, and we backed off.

    Bonnie wasn't mad at me. She was mad at Clyde for talking with me about it. Clyde was mad at Bonnie for opening up to her about the suicide thought. So Clyde ignored Bonnie's calls, and messages for a few days. They finally worked through it. After they worked through it Clyde then got mad at me. She called me and immediately said "You owe me a big apology". I said "What for?" Clyde said "For making me freak out over Bonnie's suicide thought" I said.."You are the one who called me. You were the one crying to me about Bonnie. What was I suppose to do? Not care?" She said "I didn't cry"..and I said "Oh yes Ma'am you did" she said "Let's just forget about it" and then got off the phone. She then tells Bonnie that she is mad at me and that it was all my fault. Bonnie sees right through Clyde. A few days later I take Bonnie for a procedure and we end up staying in the hotel the night before because the hospital is two hours away from where we live. Clyde wants to come over and hang out even though she is feeling terrible. So she does, and she has a contract for safety for Bonnie to sign, and me to sign as a witness. So we sign it. Everything was going fine. I thought Clyde wasn't mad at me anymore. The next day Bonnie has her procedure, and we come back to the hotel, and Clyde is feeling worse than the day before but she still wants to come hang out. But she tells me beforehand "I don't want to bring up any drama. Let's just laugh and have a good time" So she comes.

    I was supposed to be taking care of Bonnie after her procedure but because Clyde wasn't feeling well me and Bonnie ended up taking care of her. She also starts in on the drama, about how her freaking out over Bonnie was my fault. I stand my ground. She didn't like that. That night she leaves, but we hug it out and she tells me "Let's just forget about it. It is in the past. Let's move on" I agreed, and thought it was over. A day later when we get back home..Clyde calls Bonnie and tells her that she is still mad at me and she can't have a deep conversation or talk to me until she is better. Now it is a week and a half later and me and Bonnie are back in town for her second procedure. Yesterday when we arrived Clyde wanted to come over but only wanted to see Bonnie. So I waited in the room for three hours while they hung out. I didn't mind. When Bonnie comes back she tells me.."Clyde invited me tomorrow night to have dinner with her and her family. She didn't invite you. I also invited Clyde to come to the room to see you, and she said no, because she can't handle the stress of seeing you right now until she is better". My feelings were hurt. I value our friendship, but I don't think Clyde does. Bonnie thinks Clyde is in the wrong but won't stand up to her, and Clyde has told me she doesn't want to hear my thoughts until she is ready. So I am stuck between a rock and a hard place, and don't know what to do.
     
  2. faustian1

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    People can't make you crazy, without your permission. Revoke your permission.

    As soon as you do, they'll take up the slack by aiming the crazymaking at each other. Another thing to google is "codependence." It's worth investigating.
     
  3. JonSomebody

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    I totally agree with you "codependency" JS