I came out to myself 10 months ago. Up until then, I was a conservative Catholic who was very homophobic. I was completely blinded by my Catholic faith. As a result, I thought premarital sex was a sin and was also kind of uncomfortable with the idea of using contraception. Even after one of my good friends came out to me a few years ago, I continued to be homophobic -- I was just careful not to say homophobic things around him. I think that Catholicism ruined my life and I would have been much happier if I had been raised in a pro-gay church or if I had not been religious at all. I'm still Catholic because in the brief span of time between me coming out to myself and coming out to my parents, I heard a Bible reading at a Catholic Mass with the line, "Love is patient, love is kind." God spoke to me at that moment and told me it was okay to be gay. And this is what I can't wrap my head around. God helped me have the courage to come out to my parents, and yet my deeply-held belief that homosexuality would tear me away from God practically destroyed me for years leading up to me coming out to myself. How can this be? Why did He do this to me? What was the point? And was I stupid to believe in Him? Am I still stupid? I don't even know anymore. :bang:
Because I am no longer a Christian, I don't want to insert my opinion too much. But I will say this: You can be gay and Christian. Being gay doesn't equal living in sin. I posted on this forum before about it. It's really a matter of taking things in context. The verses that reference gay sex aren't talking about a loving gay relationships. It's referencing idol worship and rape. But, like most things in the Bible, it's open to interpretation, and everyone will just believe what they are told to believe, or, in some cases, what they want to believe. I hope you find peace.
Like Silver Snow...whom by the way has given an awesome response to your post. I too have responded to this topic before on this forum. I have to say that the revelations that you have come to realize and accept which you have mentioned towards the end of your post is exactly where I stand with my beliefs when it comes to the Bible vs. Homosexuality as well. In fact, as many times I have read the Bible...I am still looking for the chapters or verses where God himself speaks of his attitude/thoughts in regards to homosexuality. All I see is his disciples speaking about it in certain areas of the Bible and to me that is like passing on hearsay and just using God's name in order to give your thoughts/words are more profound effect to those who are homosexual in order to inflict fear in them for leading this lifestyle. What I ponder over more so about the Bible and all of the churches that I've attended in my life is how they all condemn homosexuality but the lifestyle had been very present during those times and even in today's society among the church community especially those who speaks out against it but engage behind closed doors. In my own life...I like to share with you that in regards to the conservative Catholic church...my first boyfriend was a Catholic priest and was very well known within the Catholic community. We were together secretly for several years and he would conduct Sunday services as well as weekly events and yet...he was the biggest sexual freak that you would ever known and no one knew of this but certain immediate members of his family. Shocker..huh..haha...not going to get more into this but just wanted to let you know a little about how indecisive the Catholic and Church communities are. Keep doing what you're doing and keep your head up. God loves you and God blesses you like all of his children. Like you said...He loves us all unconditionally. Take Care..JS
He didn't do anything. The love of God surpasses all understanding, especially human understanding. Many gay people have prayed to God to take away their same sex attraction and always the prayer goes unanswered. Why do you suppose that is? I would suggest it's because the prayer doesn't need an answer. God will not seek to change what doesn't require change. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. Is this what you heard daughtry? It's taken from chapter 13 of the first letter to the Corinthians. A very significant chapter from the New Testament. Over the years, man has distorted the idea of God to suit his own ends and his own arguments. The Bible has been used and abused to undergird hateful and prejudicial viewpoints that bear no real witness to God. Homophobia is but one of those positions. It's interesting that the gospels make no mention of same sex relationships. Jesus spoke about all sorts of human vices including the tendency to piety and judgement, but nowhere is he referenced as talking about same sex relationships. He had far more to say about heterosexual relationships actually. If the Catholic tradition is important to you, don't abandon all hope. Within Catholicism there are different opinions on moral and theological issues, extending well beyond the laity. Rewind 30-50 years and the liberal tendency was very much in control of the Catholic Church, during the papacies of John XXIII, Paul VI and John Paul I. It will have its day again.
Adding to what others have said, there's literally not one homophobic verse in the Bible. The quotation, "A man shall not lay with a man." (or something close to that) is supposed to be a mistranslation, where man and boy were the same word. Therefore, this could have simply been against pedophilia rather than homosexual people. Furthermore, there are a few references to gay individuals in the Bible, and nothing wrong is stated about them. Lastly, I believe that, at some point, Pope Francis stated that if you are gay, but seek God, you are no less than someone who is straight and also seeks God.
@Silver Snow: Thanks for your perspective. @JonSomebody: Yeah...when I was in high school, I had the weird experience of having a very homophobic family and neighbors, and yet also having a very pro-gay group of friends in which one of my friends was openly bisexual. I remember when I was a kid, there was one sermon at my old church (which was also Catholic) in which the priest said something like, "Sex should not be for pleasure." But I don't remember hearing any condemnations of homosexuality at either my old church or my new church. I never read the Bible in my spare time -- I only read it for my religious formation classes and during Mass. I think my first exposure to what I viewed as the Bible condemning homosexuality was probably in high school when my pro-gay friends pointed out the line from Leviticus that FoxEars mentioned: "A man shall not lay with a man" or whatever. My friends brought it up because they were doing the Day of Silence protest for gay people who had committed suicide. And they pointed out that the passage containing that line also said you couldn't eat shellfish or something. @PatrickUK: Yes, that sounds like the verse I heard! Honestly, at this point, my relationship with God is very important to me, but I feel kind of disconnected from the Catholic church because of everything I've been through. I'm considering switching to another denomination like the Episcopal Church, but I haven't decided if I really want to do that yet. @FoxEars: Yeah, I remember Pope Francis saying that. Unfortunately, Francis said after last year's vote to legalize gay marriage in Ireland something like, "This is a defeat for humanity." I was in the closet at the time, and that was just one of many instances of homophobia that damaged me. ---------- Post added 5th Nov 2016 at 10:24 PM ---------- Also, this is unrelated, but I get super mad at my parents sometimes. It's been 9 months since I came out, and I still feel this way from time to time. They used to have such disdain for LGBT people, and I think I would have probably come out to myself much sooner if not for their attitudes. It's hard for me because my parents have been very supportive of me for my whole life in every other regard, and yet they messed me up about being gay without even knowing what they were doing...I feel like an ingrate by being mad at them, and yet it feels justified too. I was in the habit of arguing with them a lot about how betrayed I felt in the initial months after I came out even though they accepted me within a couple of days of me coming out to them. I rarely argue with them about it anymore, but I do have this frustration that I hold inside of me sometimes and I don't know when it will fade.
As I have mentioned to other members on this forum who have issues with their parents not accepting them as being gay...you have to leave it alone. You also have to understand that many times if a parent were raised with certain morals or traditions when it comes to the gay lifestyle that its not an easy thing for them to come to terms with embracing. Also, due to how much these traditions impact their lives then its no telling if they will ever come to terms of accepting. This is a sad and unfortunate situation to go through especially when you want the approval and the acceptance from your parents and family members. Unfortunately, its a progress and while they are going through it...move forward with your life and stop arguing or getting angry because they are seeing things they way you would like them to. I tend to believe that you will gain more by keeping silent on the issue instead of standing up against them which will in my opinion just make matters worst for them to even consider looking at things open minded as you would like them to. Best wishes to you...JS
