When your wife says she gave out her number just to people she plays online games with and they only talk about the one game, but you just noticed the bill has her texting one number in particular all day long. And some are picture texts. Am I being paranoid? Already suffering depression after a death in the family. Just in a tough and confusing spot. Any advice appreciated!
I would have a conversation with her about what you've found and ask her if something's going on? I don't think you are being paranoid especially from what you have mentioned in your post its kind of suspicious. However, the only way of finding out is to confront the issue to her in order to give her a fair chance to explain it to you. Good Luck!!!!! JS
Thank you for the response. The conversation I think caught her off guard and didn't think I had caught on. She is turning it on me and saying I'm snooping and not really addressing why she hid it in the first place. This will take some time. I hope soon she will be able to come clean and be honest with me again.
Oh yeah...I meant to tell you that there was a possibility that may happen and you're right...it will take some time. However, the good thing is that she is now aware that you know something is going and not in a good way. Therefore eventually, she will have to come clean. Give her some time and leave it alone now because the ball is in her court so to speak. While she is taking time to process this ordeal..what she need to consider is what if the shoe was on the other foot and you were doing what she was doing. Nonetheless, I am glad that you did it and I wish you all the best. Keep us posted on the outcome. JS
yea, it does sound a bit fishy. she sounded like she got defensive when you found out, so i don't think it could be just any picture. and the fact that she turned it on to you, would mean she's trying to avoid any kind of unwanted attention, definitely a sign of a manipulative person. you were just checking the phone bill and happen to come across the whole list of numbers. The best thing you can do right now, is keep a level headed discussion with her. any kind of argument won't go anywhere and if you guys don't end up seeing eye to eye with each other, it's best to consider something else. with depression, it's a bit hard to deal with, so i say you should take it one step at a time.
Thank you both for your advice! We are still struggling today. She still doesn't want to talk to me, so I think waiting a bit for her to calm down is best. I'm trying hard to stand my ground (I have no backbone when it comes to fights), but not be pushy today. It's tough because she feels like I'm snooping when I feel like I didn't really do any digging since I pay the bill! As I type this she sent a text saying she wants to talk tonight. Again, I turn to mush during arguments so I need to be prepared to stand up for myself without coming across as too clingy or nosey. We need to make some compromises and when it comes to this game, she's addicted. Hopefully we can get through a conversation without it blowing up into a fight again..
This is rough. If you are worried about cheating, then talk to her about it. Talk to her about how you are feeling. That being said, being suspicious over your wife having her own friends seems fairly controlling. If you are upset that she is texting someone "too much" then how much is she allow to text? Is she allow to have friends that she simply wants to text with a lot? As for the snooping part, you are clearly snooping in the sense that you took the time out of your day to look at who and how often they text, and then what type of texts they send. You don't need to do that if you are simply paying the bill. You are clearly dealing with trust issues that might have been there before you saw the phone bill. I would encourage you to deal with those feelings instead of focusing on the frequency that your wife chooses to communicate with.
Yes, all good points and my looking at the texts she sends is exactly why she's upset. Of course it wasn't messages, it was only the bill so it had just had timestamps and totals. Truth be told the bill was more than normal and I had to figure out why (we have a family plan so I only pay my portion). That's how I noticed the huge increase in texts AFTER she said she hardly ever texts (and she said checking the bill would prover her right a week or so ago oddly enough). Again, she should be able to text whomever she wants. I agree. She has always questioned all my social interactions because of past relationships and I know how hard it was for me to constantly be under her watch. However I'm upset that she lied. I want her to know its ok, but I do have a little bit of issue with her handing out her number to a bunch of strangers she met online when she can use the console's messaging system that is safer. However if this is what she needs, then I won't fight her on texting them, but I'd like her to maybe stop it when we are spending time together since we don't get that often. I think the texting really bothered me because if I text her while I am at work she rarely responds then claims it's because she's busy with the kids and I realized it's because she's busy responding to them. I feel like I just sound whiney. She plays her game daily, often multiple times and always when I'm home. So I'm just begging for her to interact with me and want to spend time with me without me having to ask. Put the controller down! :icon_wink
I guess I may look a little crazy if I didn't mention some of the red flags that caught my attention. She put a lock on her phone and started clearing message from the console which used to pop up when I watched movies on it. We were always very open and shared that console, but she started bringing it to another room so I wouldn't be nearby. All seemed weird after being together so long and these all being new..
