I used to read a lot of fanfiction. I started when I was about ten or eleven and it's what I do when I'm feeling sad or lonely or bored or whatever. About the age thirteen or so, I began reading slash - male gay - fanfiction. It was a lot more comfortable to me than het. When I first began struggling with my sexuality, I was able to rationalize my fascination with male gay stories as some psychological need for gender sameness in a relationship without it being lesbian, due to my internalized homophobia and all that fun stuff. But now, I don't like it. It feels wrong to read about. And the guys are so masculine and gross. And it's just uncomfortable to read. I've tried femslash, and while it feels comfortable to read, it's not as interesting at slash used to be for me. My worry is that I'm losing my main relaxing activity. When I'm having a bad day, I've found myself just eating chocolate or staring at the TV or checking the election polls. I don't have a positive way to handle negative emotions. I don't know what I should do.
Wow. This is so relatable. I did the same things... I switched to watching lesbian and gay youtubers in my free time instead of reading fanfiction. It gave me something to do and distract me, and it gave me something to relate to, which was what I think I was looking for in the fanfiction. It could be different for you though.
Yes! to the person above me. Try to watch youtubers, for me that has helped too at least. And also maybe try looking for New calming activities? Draw, write, go for walks. Whatever Works. Try out some different things and see what you end up with, interests change, and that is completely okay.