Hi guys, I was wondering if maybe someone could help me figure this out. So, I've recently been accepting my bisexuality, but I find it hard when I hear my family and friends describe same sex attraction as a mental illness and talk about how horrible it is. It brings up a lot of shame and guilt in me. How do you guys deal with these feelings? Sometimes I feel happy about my sexuality but then I see posts from a friend or hear something my mother says and I get the guilt and try to reject how I really feel. Advice would be very appreciated!
don't listen to them, plain and simple. you don't have a mental illness, they're just being stupid and intolerant. who you love is who you love, don't ever feel guilty because of it.
I've been lucky in terms of that so it's not something I've personally been through... but I can give some tips, take at your own risk. One thing is to keep in mind how weird heterosexuality is. Depending on what kind of perspective you take, you could argue that is a mental illness just as well as anyone can argue that bisexuality is. But of course it's not, just like bisexuality isn't. If they think it does, they have a poor understanding of mental illness. And with horribleness... what's more horrible, a person attracted to and capable of loving different types of people, or those that are bigots that want to make people ashamed simply for having a natural desire? It still might not be easy to completely ignore people who say that kind of garbage, but when you remind yourself how ridiculous and cruel they're being, it does help to prevent taking it in and believing it. Another thing that can help is to take action. This is of course only if you feel comfortable doing so. If you think doing so will harm you, it's fine if you don't take this course. Your safety and well being should always be a priority. But having that outlet and fighting back against bigoted ideas can help to keep you from internalizing those messages while feeling good about possibly helping others at the same time. This doesn't mean you have to confront your family and friends necessarily if that seems too risky, but maybe try seeking lgbt groups in your area or even starting one at school. And if you're not out yet, that's ok. Call yourself an ally Plus great way to meet more like minded people. I wish I could be more helpful. It sounds like a very difficult situation to be in and I'm not sure there are any easy answers. I had thought about ending on a high note saying it might get easier in adulthood, and don't get me wrong it very likely will get better, but with social media these days it is a bit harder to avoid the fact that people you know have stupid bigoted views.
you need to not have that in your life.. there are many coping techniques detaching is one of the best....... personally, i am helped by beating them at their own game study stuff LGBT Mental Health Syllabus helps me survive the mental abuse also, DEFINITELY find more support and tap into positive people and positive voices t/c (*hug*)
I'm actually going through the same thing, so only a handful of people know I'm bisexual. I've gotten to the point where I just completely isolate myself from people with that much negativity. Sometimes, I just "unfollow" them on my Facebook or something just so it wouldn't affect me at all.
Thank you very much everyone for all your suggestions! I'm hoping to eventually tell my parents about my bisexuality, however I'm hoping to be out of the house by then, just in case. My college also has an LGBT club which I think I'd benefit from. i'm hoping to start becoming more involved in the LGBT culture, just to get myself settled into everything in a way. I'm hoping surrounding myself with positive influences will give me the support I need.
