So I'm feeling like I'm completely stuck. I have anxiety problems, I have a chronic health condition, and I live in an area with a lot of people who have a history of being homophobic and I'm scared of them finding out that I'm gay. I'm so insecure about being gay that when I run into these people while walking around my neighbor, I feel kind of gross about myself and I find myself thinking, "Oh my God, what if they find out?" I want to move on with my life but it feels impossible. Does anyone have any advice?
I'm in an extremely similar situation. My best advice is to just keep talking to people on here... I dunno your situation, but if it is like mine (which it somewhat sounds like) this is pretty much your only place to go... If you ever wanna chat I'll always respond
Thanks. I'm out to my family and friends, but the issue is with my neighbors. I grew up around neighbors who would regularly call each other homophobic slurs while we were hanging out. I don't remember them ever directing those slurs at me, but they were clearly anti-gay. There was one time when I vaguely remember my neighbor bullying me for being in the drama club and implying that I was gay. Another neighbor of mine accused me of being gay as well. Last summer after the gay marriage controversy involving Kim Davis, one of my neighbors reacted to it by saying, "We live in a morally corrupt society." Before the presidential election, my Mom and I ran into my other neighbor who was vocally supportive of Donald Trump and told my Mom to vote for him. That doesn't necessarily mean he's homophobic, but he seems like he might be. On the other hand, there are a few of my neighbors who are almost definitely pro-gay. I have anxiety issues as it is, and I'm worried that if my neighbors found out I was gay, I would start feeling like a total freak and avoiding everyone. It just sucks because I feel like I always have to be careful about what I put on Facebook to make sure it isn't "too gay," in case one of my neighbors sees it and then word gets around. I've become more comfortable posting feminine stuff on my Facebook, but I have to avoid posting, liking, or sharing anything that is gay-specific. It's annoying as anything. :icon_sad:
Awe I'm so sorry to hear everyone around you is so homophobic. I totally get the "trump supporter=Homophobe" logic. I sometimes use it as well LOL Obviously isn't full proof, but isn't an awful assumption. My parents are actually going to force me to delete my facebook and all social media I have so I can't ever be known as gay to anyone who they also know... Because they think I'm a freak. I'm so happy to hear your family isn't letting living in a homophobic community change their views about you!
Thanks. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that. My Mom reacted badly when I first came out but eventually came around. My Dad was okay with it but it took him a while to fully embrace it. I came out to my parents a week after I came out to myself, but I was really scared of them during that brief period of time because they were very homophobic. Although I can't relate to your specific situation, I just want you to know that being gay is awesome, and you are awesome! Don't let anyone get to you because you are strong!
Hey guys, I want to tell you both that these few years you have left living with your parents will go quickly enough. As a 47 year old guy, I can tell you that this time will pass, and within a few years you'll be heading off to your new lives, and on your terms. Staying closeted to your neighbors for a bit longer won't hurt you, just keep your head down. I would recommend that you both search for your new lives in a bigger city that is much more gay-friendly and where neighbors usually don't even know each other, or wouldn't care if you are gay when you get to know them. Regarding Facebook: Take all the "friends" that you wouldn't want to see a post of yours, a comment, a like, or a share, and put them into "acquaintance" instead of friend. When you post to "Friends" those "acquaintances" won't be included in the post and will never see it. They won't even see it on your wall. If you take some time with Facebook and put people into categories of friends, and only post to the categories, then you can control who sees which posts. Take care. ride:
I wonder what straight people worry about... LOL I mean, coming out has been my #1 stressor for several years. I wonder what I would have spent those hours doing instead of freaking out LOL
