What is the best way to make new friends in an area? I know some people will tend to make LGBT friends off apps, or dating sites. It's never really worked for me in the past. I should think about joining some social groups? My problem also, is I've been struggling with a few problems lately, I don't feel like I am at my best, and I have concerns about how I fit into the gay community. I'm also slightly older, in my early 30's.
The best way ever to make friends is to present yourself as friendly. It works every time, without fail. There's no secret formula. And I'm older too and have many friends far younger than I am. Being around younger people keeps you thinking and feeling young. It's a great experience. I wish you well.
Wow--early 30s is now "slightly older." I feel ancient.:lol: I think you just have to get out there and do things you enjoy in a setting where there will be other LGBT people. I led an LGBT book group for years. My husband was in a gay choir. I've volunteered for gay charities. I have friends in gay sports leagues. I've made gay friends in just about every setting you can imagine over the years. I will say though that most of my really close friends, the friends that were really there for me when the chips were down--including my husband--I met in gay bars or clubs. I actually still have close friends that I literally met the first time I went to a gay bar some 25 years ago. A lot of people will say that bars and clubs aren't good places to meet people--especially for friendship. I've never found that to be the case, but I think the real difference is that I actually enjoy that type of setting--it's kind of funny that I never actually enjoyed straight bars or clubs but give me a gay bar practically anywhere in the world and I'm home.:lol: I don't really even drink that much.:lol: I think the lesson is that you can't do something because it's a good way to meet people, you have to find something that you actually like. In my experience if you are out there in the world (amongst gay people to up your odds) visibly enjoying yourself people will flock to you.
I know that it can be hard to find other LGBTQ people in smaller communities. I've found the best way in those places is to get out and do things you enjoy, forget about whether there will be LGBTQ people there or not, just do things. We tend to come out of the woodwork and find each other in those communities. Take my small town and rural home. No clubs in town (was dry county until last election) Bible belt state, more churches than mini marts, etc... You'd thing there would be few of us here but, just on my road, with only 4 families, there are 3 of us and, at least a dozen more in town that are out. I've met them all at fairs, movies, town socials, even while grocery shopping. It's easy to forget that being LGBTQ does not mean we live totally different lives than everyone else. We shop, eat, work and, enjoy the same things everyone else does and, LGBTQ is just a part of who we are. We are normal people who do normal things, like anyone else. Go do normal things, you'll find us.
Thanks for this. I live in a small, rural town much like you described, right down to the part about only recently becoming a wet county. It's easy to fall into the trap of believing that it's all but impossible to find LGBTQ people in a place like this. Thanks for the reminder that others are out there doing the same everyday things I'm doing.
