Hey everyone! Never really done this before, but thought it would be great to hear different opinions from different people, so hear goes: So long story short, I am 19 and gay,and ever since I came out in high school, It's always been hard for me to have a lot of confidence and not be so insecure, but recently it's been harder. Because I am so insecure, i get attached to guys so easily. Like, I create this reality where I am in a relationship with them to feel comfort and more wanted. It doesn't help that I've been used by guys a lot and I've let them hurt me. I get my hopes so quickly and I would run a million miles and wait hours for a guy, and still they dont know that. The recent guy I am talking to, he is bi, and we met at the gym and have been talking for 4-5 months. Of course I am already head over heels for him and stuff, it has become a problem for me. We talk a lot here and there, but sometimes he doesnt reply back for hours and this takes a toll on me bad! Like I find myself depressed and even crying over it, and he doesnt realize it. And then when he replys, I am all fine and act like I wasn't having a mental breakdown. It even affects my mood and I take it out on my family. He is constantly on my mind so much and why do i find myself always thinking so much about him? We flirt a lot through text and stuff like that, and he even drives me home from the gym and he is all touchy touchy all the time. There has been times where he calls me bub and babe and it gets me all excited and butterflies, but then he wouldn't text me for a day or two. I feel like he gives me false hope all the time. There was a time where I walked home from the gym, but he left early, and he said he was gonna drive me home but i told him i was already 3 seconds from walking in my door and he even said walk back to the gym so he could drive me home. I literally ran back to the gym even though i was done and he drove me home and he was appreciative I did that for him. But the next day, didnt see him at all or get a text. I go all out for him literally and jump at my phone when ever i get text from him, always rush to the gym to see him, and he doesn't know that. I am angry and confused. I am angry that I fell for him so quickly and go out of my way for him so much, and then I am confused because he will do and say things that gets me so excited and happy and become more into him, but then he'll do the opposite and leave me hanging there solo and that affects my mood and day so much. I want to be honest with how I am feeling, but if he wasn't interested, I know i would be so broken because its another guy thats got my hopes up for nothing. Anything I should do or say? Sorry if its long lol
Hey username1997, Why do you think you’ve been feeling more insecure lately? I’m concerned for you if you emotionally attach yourself that easily to guys. It would seem that you are bound to get disappointed a lot and even seriously hurt by guys that aren’t right for you, wouldn’t you say? Have you tried counseling to try to explore why you are so insecure and to find ways to build up your self confidence and self esteem? In terms of this bi guy that you talk about in your post. He just seems like a nice friend, but have you built your ‘relationship’ with him up to be much more in your mind than what it really is? Why have you invested so much emotional capital into him at this point when he really just seems to be a gym friend? Do you know if he currently already has a bf or gf? One of the basics of any relationship, whether it's simple friendship or a romantic relationship is open, two-way communication. If you don't have that, the relationship can't really work, IMO. Have you tried to have any type of conversation with him about how you feel about him? Just some thoughts.
Hey Quantumreality, It's just something I've always felt since high school so it's been hard for me to build that confidence. I wasn planning to do counselling but idk Because I am attached to him already, I find myself doing everything to see him and talk to him, but I hate that he doesn't know that. He had a gf a while a go but that's all I know. Im just getting mixed signals from him and it's confusing me. I want to tell him how I feel, but am afraid I will lose him even as a gym friend and that would kill me. I don't know But thank you! You gave me a lot to think about
