I hate gender roles. I hate gender binary. I wish everyone could be seen as individuals instead of being defined by their biological sex. I hate because I was born with a vagina I'm supposed to behave in a certain way, I'm supposed to like certain things, just in general I'm expected to conform to certain roles. (I don't conform to most female gender roles at all.) I hate that most of my life, men have taken advantage of me or women around me. I was recently sexually harassed twice in a short time by 2 different men. When I go to a bar alone, I have to fear that a guy will put something in my drink so he can rape me. (Happened to a good friend of mine.) When I walk outside alone at night I have to fear being attacked. I'm a girl so I have to be careful. (Shouldn't we teach our children more respect than teaching our girls to be careful?) (Now I know that men can also become victims of sexual abuse and sexual harassment. Women can also be perpetrators. But I think everyone will agree when I say that in most cases it's women being attacked by men.) It's sad to think that I live in a western industrialized country which is generally spoken, a save place to live, but because I was born biologically female, I have to always be careful because men could hurt me. Is this freedom? I don't think so. Honestly, sometimes I wish I could be a guy. I feel like one of the worst parts about having a biological female body is that potentially a child could grow inside of me. I know this must make me sound like a horrible person. But the mere thought of pregnancy and giving birth makes me cringe. I hope this will never happen to me. My Mom is expecting me to have children in the future ugh... Another reason why I hate being a girl. Everyone expects me to love children and to want to have children one day... I'm sorry I mixed up all these topics. Lots of things just kept adding up. Thank you for reading.
I think every woman can relate to this to some extent. Though instead of wishing I were a guy, I just wish things could change and I could be treated with respect. That I didn't have to like "girly" stuff, you know?
I honestly don't relate to you at all being a transgender female--I love being a girl. That said, your other points, about why you dislike being a girl I think are very valid. The sad thing is that its not just the way girls are raised to be careful, but also that boys are raised to "use" girls for whatever they want. And girls are being taught to except whatever their "man" wants them to do/be. Of course, nobody is intentionally teaching youth those things, but effectively it is happening--particularly in conservative religious circles. I don't think getting rid of the concept of gender is the answer, but we do need to reevaluate what we teach out youth, both male and female.
