Lately, I've been feeling super dysphoric and upset, for many reasons. First: gym class. I am not athletic. When I say not, I mean not. It makes me feel less masculine and surprisingly causes me a lot of self-hatred, though I know things such as sports shouldn't be "gendered." Anyway - I guess I am merely curious if anyone else has ever felt that way too (and yes, I am aware that athletic skill doesn't come naturally to all cis men either). Second: my therapist. I was talking to my therapist during my last appointment and what she said really offended me. She criticised me for getting upset when people don't use my pronouns/name and also whenever I have to wear dresses or skirts. She said that "I am trying so hard to be a boy that I'm most likely not one, I'm just trying to convince myself that I am in order to cover other issues I'm having. Looking or being referred to as a girl doesn't change me on the inside, and I would recognise that if I wasn't trying so hard to appear masculine to myself." However, I am fully aware I have other issues in my life - and this overall offended me but won't leave my head. Do you think she is right? Personally - labels to some extent make me much more comfortable than I am without them and bring me some peace and solidarity. Basically, any opinion on one or both of these topics would be much appreciated - I guess I'm just having trouble feeling valid lately.
For the first topic, I've actually felt the same way a lot. I feel really dysphoric when I exercise because I'm not athletic at all and I hate exercising. But I also feel really dysphoric when I don't exercise because I feel like I should be more athletic and "masculine". Funny how that works, huh? :lol: But anyway, you are definitely not alone in that department, my friend (*hug*) As for the second topic, your therapist sounds really toxic and rude to be honest. Is she known for helping trans clients? If she is, then wow. If not, then still wow. What she said is incredibly rude, transphobic, and harmful. If you like labels and you feel better with labels, then you should use labels to define yourself. My first thought would be to change therapists, but I know that might not be easy. I do think you should look into it, though, because it'd be so much better to not be wasting money on a therapist that doesn't help in the first place. I don't really know how else to help with that, but I hope I helped (*hug*)
I totally understand you. I feel the need to be in top shape like a soldier because my value system tells me that I, as a man, have to be a protector. I don't know you and I am not a professional so I can't tell you if you're trans or not. Your therapist sounds like an idiot though. Most transguys I know have a natural aversion against dresses and skirts. As for pronouns I have my own philosophy, but this doesn't belong here.
I feel you a lot. I never took a gym class after middle school until recently where I have armpit hair for days and wear tank tops and I'm a damn showoff now. That wasn't fair at all for your therapist to say and honestly pretty transphobic. Maybe look into a different therapist who supports you?
I always hated gym class, because I hate physical activity and I'm lazy AF and hate running and all that lol. Maybe the closest to working out I'd want to do is learn to use the Bo Staff like Donatello from the Ninja Turtles show lol XD Maybe some weights I dont' know but running is out of the question. I hate the idea that men HAVE to like working out and play sports. You can like whatever you want, gender doens't matter. I identify as a dude, but I hate the idea of having to work out to prove something to someone else. But to each their own. I feel dysporia for alot of other reasons, but lack of interest in sports and exercise is not one of them. And ya~....You need another therapist. Preferably one that doesn't sound like a colossal bi-atch! Like really, who tells their patient that?! How is that helpful? How is that productive? I saw a psychologist, not even really for gender specific cases, but she was reccomended and she has handled trans patients before. And it was only one session where she saw I was trans. Granted I have to go back in like 5 months, but even for the one session she didn't tell me that I was using this as a means to hide from my real problems or that crap. I felt assured that this wasn't in my head, wasn't because it's just another thing for me to obsess over because of my Aspergers. I felt such relief knowing it wasn't that case. So ya, I'm pretty sure yours has no understanding on how to handle the feelings of a patient going through gender dysphoria. Find someone else dude, because she clearly is the opposite of helpful to you. Good luck!
