Look, I don't know what to do. There's this coworker, every time she's there I get questioned why I don't eat at work. I eat at home, fuck you, err thank you for asking. EVERY TIME. I am underweight so I know precisely what this is all about. Sooner or later I will be "the anorexic". Now she asked about the scars on my forearms. There are plenty of self harm scars. I blamed it on aggressive cats in the neighborhood and how I was a stupid child. Not a good story. I wasn't prepared for this so I messed it up and it's unbelievable. I hate this situation and think about quitting my job. What should I do?
Jeez, she needs to mind her own business. You should probably confront her and tell her exactly that. Especially if she keeps asking.
The problem is she is friendly as shit on the outside. Like these small fluffy dogs, you can't be mean to them, but they mess with you as they wish.
Hey anthracite, Does your company have a Human Resources department that you could report her to? I'm not saying to report her, just saying that maybe you could tell her straight-up that you are tired of her interference in your personal life - stuff that is none of her business - and threaten to file a complaint with HR if she doesn't stop because she is negatively impacting your work environment? I dunno. Just a thought.
This sounds like passive-aggressive bullying and you don't want to give her a reaction. If I were you, anytime she asks any question you're not prepared to answer, I would simply say, "I'm good, thanks." And just keep repeating it until she gets the idea that you are not going to give her any more than that. She might truly be interested in how you're doing but if you aren't prepared to share with her, she needs to stop asking. She might think that's an odd response but, so what? It's not offensive and she'll quickly learn that's all she's getting.
Hi Anthracite, sorry you have to deal with something like this at work. You are young and some people may think you need looking after. Your colleague may be a nosy persons, may be a bully, may lack understanding of personal space and the fact that her questions are not appropriate - or she may simply be concerned about you. your best course of action is to (1) avoid/ignore her (see suggestion above) or (2) ask her politely to stop asking these questions. You can explain that you do not feel confortable and don't like answering questions about yourself. If no progress, then you can talk to HR. all the best.
Maybe next time I'll just say about that topics: "I think we talked about that often enough?" And then switch to the weather. Or would that be too impolite? I don't think it's bullying. I think it's simple boredom. Why else should you try to save a collegue from an imaginary danger? I drink fucking hot chocolate often enough. Which anorexic would do that? Yes, everyone constantly wants to care about me. This is the mayor problem of my depression, when it shows a last bit of fighting (80-90% I'm fine). I have NOTHING. I am 17 years old and haven't got anything. People just steal my success. So of course these vampires do still come after me as their perfect target and continue to take away stuff from me that is mostly my work. Because without them I couldn't have done anything. Really, I can't see myself as a person that way.
Actually, that sounds like a good idea. It doesn't sound impolite, but it does firmly say that you're not interested in pursuing the subject.
