So, I'm homeschooled and attend a weekly homeschooling co-op for some classes and play on a soccer team for it. The program is fairly big and offers a lot, for homeschoolers in the area its pretty much on the only option if you want to play sports, go to proms/dances and do drama. Anyhow the program is very conservative. My friend I'll call her L went there. I'm not very close to L, she did drama and we've only once ever had the same class. But in that class we were partners on a few projects and we had mutual friends so I often hung out with her in groups. She's a pretty funny person and very kind. I found out today that she has been kicked out of the program... Because on facebook she came out as a lesbian... She got kicked out of a play she's been rehearsing for months now being replaced by an understudy 2 days before the show.. Today she posted a message about shes been crying all day and misses her spot in the show and has high regrets of coming out.. I just feel so terrible for her, I can't imagine having spent all that time memorizing the words for a leading role and getting kicked out days before the show.. She got some negative comments on her FB from her "friends". I know she LOVES the proms, she talked fairly often about them. She already bought a dress but now can not come.. And shes been kicked out of class.. It's not in season but she was on the cross country team and no longer can participate.. I feel so bad for her.. Having that happen to me has been a really bad fear of mine for awhile, to see it play out shows me my fears aren't impractical and it just scares me... A part of me is considering coming out to her via messenger but I don't know... We're not that close anyhow. I just feel really downed about this.
Hey Guff, I'm really sorry to hear that about your friend, L. Unfortunately, it drives home your biggest concerns about your homeschooling community finding out that you are gay. It just underscores how uneducated and intolerant these people are. I never cease to be amazed and appalled at how un-Christian and intolerant so-called Christian groups like that can be. However, it sounds like the bottom line for them is that an LGBTQ person actually has to publicly acknowledge (in some form) that they are LGBTQ before action is taken. I don't know how Facebook works, but if you message her on Facebook, could others see it? Do you know if her parents support her? I only ask because, if you have a cell phone number for her, maybe sending her a text would be the best way to offer support. But, if her parents are not supportive and saw you text, that could get you into trouble. IF you do contact her, you may want to direct her to EC where she can at least get some moral support. I absolutely applaud you for wanting to offer her your support, but it sounds like you need to be cautious right now so as not to threaten your own standing for the moment. Just some thoughts. Take Care, my friend!
Her original post on FB was about how she "Just came out to parents as gay. And they said the support me! (Rainbow emoji)" So her parents are supporting. But I'm still afraid of sending her a message just because the idea of me proclaiming I'm gay online with it being linked to me directly as a person scares me. If I send her a message on messenger only she would be able to read it, but I'm still hesitant to do that.. Even if I don't come out maybe I could just tell her I'm sorry about what went down and I still like her and think what happened was BS.
You don't have a way to text her directly? Then, to be safe, maybe just do what you said and send her a message of general support. Is there a way you could meet her somewhere in person and talk face-to-face, away from the all the co-op people? That would be the ideal way to show your support and you could even Come Out to her at that point, if you so chose.
She doesn't live that far away, I walk by her house every other day. I've considered going over and talking to her... I'd imagine she feels dreadful... If that ever happened to me, and than she came over and told me she's gay and tried to help me I know I'd be so happy/grateful to her. I always said I've never met another LGBT person in real life who's out. I guess I have now, in the worst way possible... Shes been apart of the program several years now, I just don't know why she'd do that. Certainly she knew this would happen... I just feel so bad/scared... I probably should just look the other way and ignore this. And just continue life the way I have been, but I honestly am getting tears over what happened to her... Between the rehearsals and the classes she spent 4 days a week doing something with the program and basically all of her friends go there two and now don't wannabe associated with her... It just makes me feel so terrible for her, scared for me and pissed at the program
Hey Guff, Don't consider that you know now another LGBTQ person in real life under the worst possible conditions. As you said, she had to have known (as would her parents) exactly what would happen to her in terms of the prejudiced co-op before she publicly Came Out. Perhaps she got tired of all the hypocrisy of living the lie - as I'm sure you've felt on more than one occasion - and decided (probably with her parents' support) to just be herself. If you think that it won't get back to the co-op people and cause you more issues than you already have to deal with, I think it would do both you and her a world of good to talk to her face-to-face. Just my thoughts.
