You can't! (*hug*) I know how much it sucks and how much you don't want to be this way but you can't change. Therapy won't help if you're trying to become straight. It will just make you feel worse about yourself. (*hug*)
It is not possible to change one's sexual orientation. That's because your orientation is a perfectly normal and natural thing. What we know as "conversion therapy" is extremely harmful, as it is based on the repression of your natural desires and feelings (there is no evidence that it changes your orientation). Therefore, it is safe to say that it leads to unhappiness. In simple words, it is like trying to fix what is not broken.
I don't need to reiterate what those above me said, but you are doing more harm than good when you try to be someone you're not. Doesn't matter what people tell you; therapy conversion doesn't work. Those who claim that were gay but now aren't because of conversion therapy are in deeper denial than they were before. It's unhealthy, and non beneficial. Be true to yourself.
I tried to "pray the gay away" every. single. night. for. 4. years. I've completed a few chapters in a interactive conversion therapy book. I've spoken to MANY doctors/physchologists who all told me the same. exact. thing. It can't be changed and there's obviously, obviously, obviously NOTHING wrong with it. Some things just can't be changed, sexuality is 1 of them. You do have to be this way, but you don't have to let it ruin your life.
No for me it would about my therapist helping me to understand me feelings about myself and why I feel the way I do. I had emotionally unavailable and troubled mother sometimes I see myself looking for a mother in other woman. Despite my crushes ruff exterior I see that nurturing and caretaker part of her. I want intimacy with someone
you can hide it, stuff it down, deny it, but you cant change it, sorry. I tried, did real good even hid it from me. but here I am, not only queer but trans to boot.
This would be healthy, because it would help you to explore the fundamental issues that are making you feel bad about your sexuality and how it links into your childhood and the desire to find a motherly partner, but just to reiterate that you cannot "ungay" yourself and nobody can ungay you either.
Is your therapist a Christian therapist (how she describes herself, not her religious background) and/or one that does reparative therapy? If so, I would run the other way as quickly as possible. These therapists are going against all of the recommendations of the profession and professional associations. Our relationships with parents can affect how we attach and the quality of attachments, but they do not impact sexual orientatiion. So, for example, having a mother that's emotionally unavailable might make you seek out an unusual level of nurturing and emotional support in a partner, but it wouldn't make you attracted to women specifically. If you find that your sexual fantasies are for women, and your sexual arousal and attraction is toward women, that isn't a byproduct of a bonding failure; it is a hardwired attraction. The Christian crazies that advocate conversion therapy push this idea, but is is soundly and fully disproven in hundreds of studies dating back six decades. It simply doesn't work.
No my counselor is not a Christian one. She is helping me figure out my feelings towards my sexuality. Help me to accept that I was born that way. I told my counselor that I'm sexually attracted to my crush. I want to experiment with her, but that she will not happen because I think she's straight. The only way to know for sure whether to know for sure how my crush identifies herself is to ask her, but given the situation in with her it would inappropriate to ask my crush how she identifies herself. Facebook is not a good indicator of how someone identifies herself. Also she has 3 sons and raised pre 1980s people who are raised in a certain era can have very opposed views of the LBGTQ community
Listen, there isn't anything wrong with being gay. You can't change it anyways. Just learn to accept yourself and embrace who you are! Most of us had to go through your stages too, so don't worry. Just be you!
If there is anything I have learned recently. You have to learn to accept yourself for who you are. Once you do, it does hurt because you are going to want to resist, but it gets better. The longer you wait, the worse it will be (trust me on that). There is nothing wrong with being attracted to another human being. We all have our tastes. We like what we like. I wish I didn't wait so long to stop the self hate. I've been thinking about all those years I wasted worrying about foolish things. That stress bleeds into every part of your life and it is not pretty.
Imagine some straight gal, she for whatever reason doesn't want to be straight and wants to be gay. Do you think any amount of therapy could ever truly turn her into a lesbian? Do you think she could unstraight herself? No. Sexual orientation change cannot be altered. Which I know can suck at times, but you're better off accepting the truth than filling yourself up with false hopes.
I think that maybe the straight girl is attracted to girls, but she conforming to society in fear of rejection. What if "Nancy" has liked girls her whole life, but she has religious family. Nancy has privately struggled with her identity and is confused by the fact she likes girls. She is aroused by women and the thought of being with one excites her, but she never acts on it. So Nancy goes to therapy to see if she can sort this all out cause she figures that all these feelings come from somewhere
If you're attracted to the same sex you are no longer straight, so still calling yourself straight is denial in itself right there. Going to therapy can certainly help you sort out your thoughts and feelings, but it doesn't change the fact that you are attracted to the same sex. What @Guff is trying to say is that no amount of conversion therapy can change your sexual orientation, even straight to lesbian (realistically, no one wants to be in the minority). Heteronormativity can certainly delay the coming out process or even drive the individual into further denial. Religion is also a huge factor; having a family member or friend tell you that being LGBT will bring you to hell is straight up traumatizing to anyone who is highly religious themselves.
I wish you the best of luck in therapy and on your journey. Even just allowing yourself to question and recognize your feelings, and not only that, but also getting the help you need, is awesome and super brave and such a great thing to do for yourself. People in this thread have probably said most of what needs to be said, so I don't have much to say but this: I don't know how you feel personally about sexuality in regards to religion, but it has helped me in the past to think about it this way: Sins are things that cause harm to other people or to yourself. Being gay, and having a relationship with someone of the same sex does neither of those things. Even if, for example, someone were to get hurt emotionally in a same-sex relationship, that would be because other bad or sinful things happened to cause that (things that could have the same effect in any straight relationship), but the same-sex relationship in and of itself does not cause harm. Anyway, I wish you all the best. Be patient with yourself and with therapy and I hope it goes well! I'm sure it will.
