I really don't want to live anymore. Getting up and having to function everyday is really hard and I just don't want to do it anymore. I enjoy nothing. The problem with seeking help is my parents would be notified or I would be put in a psych unit at the hospital. This would cause arguments in my family and I would not get anywhere. How can I even have this discussion without some sort of threat of being told on? :tears:
Firstly, do not commit suicide. If you're currently feeling suicidal please, call this number 866-488-7386 It's to the Trevor project. A LGBTQ+ aimed suicidal hot line. If you're looking somewhere you won't be judged, this is the place. Or maybe you could even go to thetrevorproject.org to online chat live with a counselor. I see on your profile that you were out, but now back in? Is this one of the contributing factors as to why you're feeling so poorly? Remember when you were 5 years old? I bet your life than and your life now are two completely different things. This is because life changes, wether we like it or not change is an absolute necessity to life. And it will happen, if you kill yourself now than you won't be around in say 8 years from now when your life could be completely different and felt with so much joy and accepting people that love you! I mean, I don't got a clue who you are but I love you and would cry if you died. I've attempted suicide in the past, I regret it. I regret VERY badly. It's hands down the worst regret in my life. Please don't attempt it, because either you'll A live and have to live with the guilt or B die and you'll never get to see your bright future. I know things are tough now, but this is your only life. Do not cut it off short. If you ever want to chat about ANYTHING you're not only welcomed but encouraged to send me a wall message or PM.
(*hug*)Sorry to hear you are feeling like this please seek out some councelling . I am just wondering whynyou think your parents would be notified if you sought help? Your profile age is that of an adult the only way they would know is if you are still on their medical plan counsilling falls under doctor/client privilege. Please at least fall oje of the help lines to talk to someone Take care of yourself and remember that everyone is important , including you.
The fact that you created this thread suggests you want help and support of some sort and that's a good and positive thing. When so little in your life seems positive, or feels positive, it's important to try to cling on to those glimmers of light and I hope you will continue to talk to us. We don't come here with an agenda, but we do care about you... why else would we reply? You say you enjoy nothing and I wonder how long you have been aware of this sense of nothingness in your life. At what point did things seem to spiral downwards? Try to tell us, in your own words, if you can. Even though everything feels black right now, I'm assuming you retain the capacity to hope and consider a better life, even if it seems very elusive right now. With that in mind can you tell us what you would really like from life if this darkness could somehow be lifted? In most cases you can speak to suicide prevention lines in confidence and you are entitled to ask about their confidentiality policies before you begin speaking, if you are concerned. It's not necessarily true that your parents would find out and you would be committed to a psych unit. Why do you imagine that would be the case? The very worst thing you can do when you have suicidal thoughts is to bottle it all up. Keeping a lid on it makes things worse and you become complicit in your own despair. Even though talking (or writing) doesn't eliminate bad feelings, it does offer a precious release valve and clears some mental space for thinking and consideration, and that's really useful. Use this thread if it helps and know that we are here for you.... you are part of our community and we care about you a lot.
You need to get help. If you have a good income I would just call a therapist without your parents knowing. Though being in a psych unit really isn't as bad as it sounds. I was put there after a suicide attempt, and the staff was wonderful. I felt loved for the first time by my peers, had a wonderful roommate, made some friends, and had to attend classes to show me how to manage depression. The biggest problem is that your stay can be used against you when you're looking for a job or wanting to buy weapons, so it should be a last resort place to go to if you can't get help at all and are a danger to yourself. Really better to find a therapist first. You can search online for options.
Well I hate my life. I am a practical nursing student and I hate it. I hate being a nurse. I hate people. I hate myself every time I look in the mirror- I cannot believe I am where I am. I am horrified. Every morning I wake up hoping I get hit by a truck or a bus so hard that I end up dead. Committing suicide is harder than you think. The best way is by a gun to your head- it is go quick and easy...however in Canada it is harder to get a gun than the states. Meds won't kill you because you'll throw them up before you can consume enough to kill you (over the counter drugs). They will make you very, very sick. Thank-you for the concern though. ---------- Post added 9th Dec 2016 at 07:55 PM ---------- Well I live with my parents. If I seek out counselling and speak honestly about suicide- they will probably call an ambulance for me. If I don't comply, I will be arrested. So if I go to a psych ward my parents will wonder why I haven't come home. Then the fight will start about how I just cannot go to the hospital over a bad day and how I need to stop this shit.
So it sounds like you are a student. Are there any therapists services available through your school? Forget about what your parents are gonna say or do, get some help for yourself. You deserve to feel better. If you don't want to be a nurse don't, get yourself feeling better and then go do what you want. A lot of people don't end up working in the career they started persuing after highschool and people change career paths all the time. Ideally what would you like to do? Heres a link to The Trevor Project , maybe you can chat with someone on there. The Trevor Project Take Care
