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My therapist wants me to come out to my crush

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Shasta, Dec 9, 2016.

  1. Shasta

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    My therapist wants me to come out to my crush, but she's straight. I'm not ready to come out to her and I don't think I will ever be. I don't her to know. Also I used to dislike her because there is is something about my crushes personality that bugs me. I can't put my finger on it just something that is different

    ---------- Post added 9th Dec 2016 at 12:16 PM ----------

    I don't want her know how I feel sorry
     
  2. Chip

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    What you're describing from your therapist sounds unusual. Therapists (at least good ones) typically do not tell a client what to do. If this is something you don't feel comfortable doing, then unless there's a piece to the story that we aren't hearing here, it doesn't sound like it would be appropriate to come out to your crush.

    Why is your therapist pushing you to do this?
     
  3. Shasta

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    My crush works for a company i owe money to. I changed number so she can't reach me. I kinda got pushed into something I didn't want to do and signed a contract stating that I would. I have not gone through with my end of the deal. One because I can't give her what I promised and two I have been avoiding my crush makes me question my sexaulity.

    My therapist wants me to talk to my crush and see where I stand
     
  4. Shasta

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    I know confusing I'm like wtf.
     
  5. Chip

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    So... your crush is a bill collector?

    And because you're avoiding your crush... who is trying to collect money from you... you're questioning your sexuality?

    And your therapist is telling you to talk to your crush... why?

    None of this makes any sense.
     
  6. Shasta

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    No she's not a bill collector. Finance manager
     
  7. Chip

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    Same difference.

    I think your therapist is probably encouraging you to share your feelings to simply put an end to things.

    From everything you describe, it's not going to go anywhere, and it sounds completely unrealistic for a whole bunch of reasons. So it might be best to simply put it out there, get shot down, and be done with it.
     
  8. Shasta

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    Ok here is what is I have been questioning my sexaulity my whole life. My crush is making think about the possibility of relationship with woman. She reminds me my old friend. I admire my crushes power and success. Do want be her no, but I want her sucess. But success, power, and money isn't everything. She's been to jail for drugs/alcohol appeals to have it together on the outside. So she has unintentionally taught me that success isn't everything. How did I find this out about her I googled her.
     
  9. Chip

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    So you've been all over the map here.

    Success, power, and money have -zero- to do with sexuality, and there are plenty of people of both sexes that have those things, and plenty who do not.

    The important question, if you're trying to identify your sexual orientation, isn't about success or power. It isn't about seeking a nurturing connection from your mother or a mother-like figure. It is about what sexually arouses you.

    When you masturbate, preferably without porn, what are you thinking about? Guys or girls?

    When you walk down the street and see someone and imagine being with that person... or that they have a nice body... is it a guy or a girl?

    The answers to these questions are pretty accurate indicators of where your sexual arousal and orientation lie. The rest of it is just a distraction.
     
  10. Shasta

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    I like girls girls arose and sometimes guys. So bi are you happy. And I hate myself for it. I get told I choosing to be this way.

    ---------- Post added 10th Dec 2016 at 06:59 AM ----------

    More than anything in the world I just want to be loved and accepted, but no one loves not girls not guys. Guys just want use my sex. No one. My family me blames for their problems. They imply that if i could just accept responsibility for their problems they would go away. When my sister has friends I can't leave my room because my sister embarrassed of me so I'm aroused by girls. I want have sex with a girl. What do want me to admit here
     
  11. Shasta

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    I can say my sexuality is very fluid it changes upon my interests. I can relate to Gillian Anderson I don't consider myself to hundred percent gay, but somewhere in between
     
  12. Chip

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    Sexual orientation, according to what is credibly known, appears to be fixed. That said, you may well be bisexual. But you are still all over the map here. What your parents want, who they blame, what they believe or tell you has *zero* impact on your sexual orientation. They might impact what you believe, but not your hardwired orientation.

    It sounds like your best bet would be to try to get away from their influence.
     
  13. Arthur1995

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    That's not right. You decide the best moment to come out to anyone, not your therapist .