There will be days when I feel like I am attractive and that I am deserving of being with another person, and then other days (like today), I hit such a rock-bottom low that I can't help but feel hopeless about finding someone. It always revolves around the same thing - I don't feel like gay guys like me very well. I look young and I am not manly. I can't grow facial hair. I am "cute", but whenever a "hot" or "sexy" guy walks into the room, it's like I don't exist! I feel like I'm so second rate. But your personality, Steve! I feel like this is bull shit. How the hell am I supposed to find someone who cares about personality when they're eye-fucking the hottest guy in the room. I don't feel like there are people who care about me and love me totally, mind, body and soul. Sometimes I wish that I just had a shitty personality and 10/10 looks. Maybe then I Wouldn't be so lonely. I probably should have made this post anonymous, but I'm just so frustrated right now. I feel such an immense amount of pain in my chest. I had to let it out.
It's incredibly easy to be down on ourselves about appearances - in fact, most people are at one point or another (including that "hot guy" who walks into the room every so often, hard as it may be to believe). Since you go back and forth between feeling fine and feeling bad, though, one thing you might try is to keep a record of what days you feel good about yourself and what days you don't. Try to keep a record of what else is on your mind or happening when you feel bad. You might notice some trends after a while, and that might help you think about this in a different way.
Hey Steve! I totally understand your plight. I am 31, can't grow sideburns let alone a beard. I have no chest hair. I am short. People think I am a teenager/early 20's all the time. I feel like not a lot of men my age would want anything to do with me considering I look 10 years younger than them. I guess I can also flip the coin on myself because I find a lot of men my age look "too old" lol I guess we are all a bit shallow at times. I go back and forth a lot on my looks as well. Some days I feel pretty confident, but most of the time I feel like trash. I know that you have been working very hard in your life Steve. Just know that there IS someone out there for you. Not everyone is into the 0 personality 10/10 looks. That can only fulfill a person for so long. This frustration is completely normal and is pretty common. Keep your head up and keep up the great work.
