Hello, So I've been realizing that I meet so many people but I am lonely and not letting anyone being inside of my mind. = I can't be with myself so I have to meet someone else all the time. and I am obsessed with hating and being loved= confusion I think no one can stay with who can't stay with oneself. and no one can love who cannot love oneself. I believe there are people in EC who went through this... Is there any advices or ideas for this? :icon_sad: :dry:
Hi West, This is something I think most people struggle with the majority of their lives. I try to take things one day at a time. Doing something nice for yourself, or something you enjoy once a day is a way of self-validation. Doing this consistently helps you find what you truly like and makes you feel less critical about yourself. It is a slow process, though. Also, catch bad thoughts (i.e. "I'm unlovable" or "I'll always be lonely) and turn them into their opposites. It is a cognitive exercise that takes discipline, but eventually will make your outlook better. So, for example, instead of "I'm unloveable" make it "I am loveable and deserve love." In time you will banish those negative cognitions. I get lonely a lot and I am an introvert by nature. I don't have an immense social circle, and I am always searching for that ONE person I can connect with and truly be friends with. So far I always fail. Again, staying busy helps numb the feelings for awhile. And remembering the previous exercises. Being too pre-occupied with love can make you blind to it when it arrives. Try to sit back, and come to terms with who you are (easier said than done, right?). What do you enjoy? What do you hate? What would you like to do in the future? What sort of relationship do you actually want? I know it is rough now. I know how it feels, because I fight the same battle. I hope that some of these thoughts may help. Best wishes, Sebby45
