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How do you

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by aclosetcase, Dec 13, 2016.

  1. aclosetcase

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2016
    Messages:
    10
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    Location:
    Baltimore
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Ever since I was very young I knew my attraction to both genders was there. I lied to myself for many years saying I was "straight" but inside I knew that romantically and physically I preferred both genders. Now, that I'm older and still coming to grips with my sexuality I feel like I still pigeonhole myself into believing that "maybe this will go away" when clear it is not. I'm surrounded by people who do not see bisexuality as a sexuality. It's either you're gay or you're straight. Even the few friends that I have whom have come out say the same thing but in more of a wishy-washy way but all that aside...

    How do you learn how to accept who you are?

    I don't accept myself. I loathe who I am and constantly feel guilty. I want to cut away this part of who I am and be "normal" even though realistically I know normalcy doesn't exist. It kills me everyday and sometimes I think that my own fear and non-accepting of self will be the end of me one day because I cannot come to terms with it.

    So, again, I'm asking how do you learn to accept who you are? When did you know that this was who you were? And what can I do to change this?

    Also, I am seeing a therapist but just wanted a general idea from people who deal with this type of thing.

    Thanks everyone.

    Post Script: I'm hoping a Mod will see where I had originally posted this before. I wasn't thinking at all and posted in the wrong thread area. So a million apologies in advance! :/
     
  2. West

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2016
    Messages:
    3
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    0
    Location:
    Dover-Foxcroft, ME
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Hello aclosetcase,

    I can somehow feel how serious this topic is; It took fifteen years for me to be comfortable about my sexuality and find a person whom I can tell about it.

    So those ideas helped me a lot:

    First things first, as many people say, "Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections"; You have to somehow understand and love the very natural part of you which can be looked "abnormal" to many people.

    Secondly, you need to find at least one person around you to tell the unique part of you, and the hardships you went through. The listener(s), of course, has to be an understanding person; You will find this very hard. But this will end up great because bisexuality is actually not a very big deal to most people.

    Third of all, if you feel that you are neglected, please avoid escaping into cynicism. This is not only because you are not wrong in this world but because you are such a nice person. Think about yourself in a positive way and be calm.

    Finally, please respect your sexuality. If you see an attractive person, just accept that you are attracted to him/her and consider this as a natural thing. if you feel attraction between you and the person with same gender, you are attracted to the person with same gender.

    You deserve to live your life for yourself. Steve Jobs said, "Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma -- which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice." It will be very hard but it's what you have to overcome to really live.

    With warmest thoughts,
    West.