Hi!! I'm a junior in high school, and I am still in the closet gay. Well not exactly. I came out to only my closest friends. Not even my family knows. Anyway, in school, there is this really hot boy (he's also very popular which can be a good/bad thing) and I've been in his English class since 9th grade, and known him since 8th. We don't really talk, just about school projects and stuff when we're grouped together. I'm kinda in the higher "smarts" part of the grade (Honors, AP, IB) and he's "stuck in the middle" at just honors as he says it. Our English is honors, all three years that we've had together in fact. Anyway, he sits across the room from me. Now, I'm not as attractive as he is, but I seem to attract the gay boys and only some girls even though I act very straight. He's like 200% hotter. Eyebrows are perfect, perfect jawline, perfect body, perfect personality, he's just the guy I've been wanting for 4 years. I've had other crushes, but he's the one that Ive "fallen in love with." I don't want to take an L anytime soon with him, so I need some advice on how to know if he's interested or if he is gay? In class, we sit across the room from eachother. I sit in the back on the right side, he sits in the front on the left. Everyday we exchange eye contact to eachother, though it is very brief and awkward. He looks at me, I catch him, we make a second of eye contact and he looks away and looks down. Then sometimes I look at him for a while, and he catches me and we make eye contact and I look away and down pretending I'm doing something else. The thing is, we keep doing this. He keeps looking, and I keep looking, and when he gets caught he turns red, as do I. So he knows I'm interested. I've been caught looking at him multiple times , Even looking at his crotch. (he always wears sweats or track pants, and being a teenager you can totally see it when he's hard so it's "hard" not to look). But we keep the looking at eachother cycle going. He's not had a girlfriend, he went to prom last year with a girl, but nothing happened, has a ton of close friends that are girls, and other stuff like that. Also, we are reading A Streetcar Named Desire in class, and it's written by a gay author, Tennessee Williams. Anyway, we, as a class, discuss how his gay lifestyle influenced the book and connected some characters to some events that happened in Williams' life, such as being in love with his sisters boyfriend, which was in the book as Blanche's husband cheating on her with an older man (which we can assume is supposed to be Tennessee; even Tennessee said that this book was based off his family life). Anyway, when we discuss gay stuff and gay rights, he turns red, gets quiet and looks down. Obvious signs of guilt or insecurity. Perhaps he's hiding something? When his friend (who is a f***boy), makes gay jokes, he turns red again and doesn't laugh at all, not even a smile. I've been snap chatting him through my spare account so he doesn't know it's me just in case, telling him my feelings for him and how I've been in the class with him known him blah blah blah. Everything I told you guys on this "article". And I included some sexual messages and stuff to test it even further, and I haven't been blocked. He hasn't answered anything but I havent been blocked. Now 2 days later. But... here's the kicker, when my friend (who is very hot) used her old account to be "sexual" with him (just talking dirty and stuff nothing illegal), he told her to f*** off and he blocked her. I find it weird that he blocked a girl talking sexual, but didn't block a gay boy talking sexual. Hmmm. I really want a relationship with him. He's so perfect for me. Such a great personality and everything. I would've never done my "research" on him through snapchat if I hadn't had a thought that he is actually gay. Any advice? Thanks :bang::bang::bang::bang::help:
Do it, fam. You never know who's attracted to you. My parter and I had crushes on each other since the first week of school and we both found out that we like each other. No harm in trying, friend.
It's not that easy for me unfortunately!!! . Idk if he's really attracted to me. What else can I do before I take a leap?
So Heyguys1234, It sounds like one of your concerns is whether or not you can trust him enough to Come Out to him and that he will keep your secret regardless of whether or not he's willing to be your bf. Why not just try making friends with him openly first? You don't have to make 'the plunge' and tell him that you are gay or that you are crushing on him until you get to know him better. And, honestly, if you don't have enough in common to just be good friends what kind of bf relationship would you have? Working to make him a friend and hanging out outside of school would help tell you if the two of you are even compatible as friends in the longrun. It would also help you better gauge whether or not he might like you 'that way', as well. Just some thoughts.
Thanks. But I don't know how to be friends with him. He's popular. But we both love soccer and stuff, but he's really popular so I'm scared . It's the intimidation part that I'm worried about. How do I even begin to be friends with him? Im in 11th grade, so isn't it too late? :bang::bang::tears:
Why would it be too late? The social division thing, of course, is always a big hurdle to cross in high school. Do you have any common friends who could introduce you 'formally' or with whom you could both hang out initially? If not, why not try little steps. Since you're both in the same English class, why not just start saying 'hi' to him each day. That wouldn't be too hard, would it? And you could start to gauge whether or not your friendship has a chance pretty quickly. If he responds politely, that would be a good sign. If he basically ignores you, then he may just be too stuck up about his social group and not be smart enough to consider making friends with you. And, then, if you've been saying 'hi' for a while, you could try asking him on a Monday how his weekend went or something like that. Don't make it harder in your own mind than it really is. Remember, even though YOU are crushing on him, he doesn't know that, so any simple, friendly approach that you make to him shouldn't be a big deal to him. Just some thoughts.
Thanks for your reply. I do have friends in common with him, though they're popular girls so Idk if they'd tell him or anyone else that I wanna hang out with him. I was gonna ask one to hang out and then say "hey, do you wanna invite (his name) too? We could all go as a group it'll be fun". But then again, I'm not that courageous in asking people to hang out bc I don't want to fail at it. Our English class ends January 13th, so only two weeks with him from January 2nd when we come back from Christmas break. I really want him to hang out with so badly, but Idk. I mean I'm kinda popular, being the smart kid and all, but not as a "high energy fun kid". All the popular girls love me cause I fit in with them, I'm i know a lot of stuff that's been going on in school, but they think I'm some straight kid who just keeps up to date. I know one girl who hangs with him a bunch, but me and her have never hung out. What should I say to hang out with her? And maybe then after we become closer I can ask to invite (his name) I would say his name but if he's reading this he'll know who it is that's crushing on him . Not that it's a bad thing since he'd have to be in the closet to be reading on this forum but... I'm just really scared on what to do. I've wanted to be his friend and hang out ever since freshman year, but I've never had the courage. What do I say to him besides hey? Conversation starters? How to ask to hang out? Etc? ---------- Post added 20th Dec 2016 at 04:30 PM ---------- Also, what if he knows it's me that's been snapchatting him when I all of a sudden start talking to him? I mean I'm still not blocked on sc so I don't think he's opposed to all those sexual remarks, and being that he blocked the "girl" that was doing the same sexual remarks. I'm just so stuck. He is worth coming out for, but I don't want to ruin my high school years with that one word :icon_sad::bang:
How do I make him my friend? This late into high school? Won't he think I'm weird for trying to hang out this late? Won't anyone think I'm weird to want to hang out for the first time after this long?
Are you reading too much into this? Are you saying that you think there is a timeframe for making friends in high school? What do you say to him besides 'hi'? Well you could make small talk, but the best thing would probably be to find common interests with him and talk about those things. Right off the bat, you are both in English class so discussing something to do with the class would be something you have in common. Then, you said you have at least one mutual friend, so you could find out a bit more about his interests and hobbies, right? If you have one or some of those mutual interests or hobbies, that would work for conversation material. If you have an interest in one of his interests or hobbies, you could ask him about that interest or hobby for that reason. Mainly, you have to approach him and start up a conversation. If he's interested in talking to you, he will, and he should then help carry on the conversation. If he's not interested in talking to you, then chances of a friendship would seem to be pretty low, right? You can't control in advance whether the situation goes smoothly or awkwardly. You can only approach him and try. Or not. If you don't at least try, you'll be left wondering what might have happened if you had simply approached him. What's the worst case? That he blows you off and that he recognizes your advances from Snapchat? And, if he figures out that you are gay, but he isn't, then what could happen? He could Out you involuntarily, right? Only you can decide whether or not to go forward with this. You just have to try to go into it with as full an understanding of the potential risks and the potential rewards as possible so that you can make an informed decision. Just some thoughts.
