Hello all, I'm not sure if i have BPD. I'm a 19-year-old female. I'm the kind of person who thinks a lot and analyze my own behavior, and also others. I'm quite good at empathizing too. Since a teenager, especially after my first "break up" with a best friend, i've experienced really negative, pessimistic thoughts about myself and the world. Those thoughs sometimes gets really deep, dark and uncontrollable. I rarely let anyone in, but when i do i hold on to them too tightly. Resulting in unnecessary fights. Sometimes i feel okay all by myself. But because i'm so bad at making personal friends, having only 1 or 2 choices, when i have no one to talk to, i feel so bored, empty, lonely and irritated to the point of suicidal. I also self-harm due to extreme emotions. I'm really bad at handling them. I'm quite sensitive (to loved ones) compared to people in general, it's quite troublesome. Just few days ago i cried and screamed in my bed (is it common for an adult to do this?). I'm so tired of this. I don't wish to talk about my thoughts and feelings to my friends anymore. It sounds bad. But mostly i feel okay and good about myself i guess. Emotions comes in waves. I noticed i tend to control things in life, that all goes down to managing my emotions. Idk if smth is wrong with me or am i just a bitter, ungrateful, weak-willed person. Idk if there is really a need to talk to a counsellor (if my univeristy has it). I've tried once in my previous uni, an appointment without follow up, but it seems pointless. What are we supposed to talk about ? Has anyone gone through talk therapy or has any experience and advice to share that's related to this ? Please help.
Definitely seek out a therapist if you can. You need to be properly diagnosed by a professional. There are a few crappy therapists out there so don't give up after just one bad match.
I feel like maybe i could always try to manage my emotions but 70% of my attempts fail. It's just my personal failure. I do not know how do mentally healthy people feel and cope with negative emotions. Maybe all of this is normal and i just have to deal with it ? ---------- Post added 20th Dec 2016 at 11:12 PM ---------- Creativemind: Oh yeah the match. Alright thanks for your thought
It might be difficult if you actually do have undiagnosed BPD. Personality disorders can be difficult to manage. BPD in particular is best helped with DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) so you might need to bring that up.
First of all there is nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with having BPD either. I have it and once I got diagnosed I was relieved because there was actually something I could do about the way I was feeling. First I recommend you see a psychiatrist, someone who may be able to diagnose. You may not have anything except trouble dealing with difficult situations. If you end up finding out you have BPD then there's this treatment called DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy) that's specifically for people with borderline, although anyone can use it. It helps you learn how to deal with life. It helped me tremendously. I highly recommend that, even if you don't have BPD. hang in there, you're not alone!
seek professional help, BPD is very hard to diagnose. my ex was recently diagnosed after a life time of illness. she's apparently doing better now, but still has challenges. don't give up.
According to self-analysis I am a lot like you. I've self-diagnosed with NPD, BPD, Asperger's, bipolar and whatnot during the latest years. It's all bullshit morbus google. Sometimes it's really just puberty you might not be quite out of and changes in hormone levels. Or just a sense crisis. Do you know where you wanna go in life? The most healthy thing to do is to identify your bad habits, which you did and work on them if they bother you.
Creativemind is correct. BPD shares a lot of traits with other personality disorders in the same cluster, so finding a clinician with really good diagnostic skills is important, as is getting the right treatment. From what you describe, my first thought would probably not be borderline, but I'm neither qualified nor would it be appropriate to diagnose anyone over the internet. Keep in mind that all disorders exist on a continuum, so if you do have any thought disorder, it could be anywhere within the spectrum of mild to severe. Treatment depends quite a bit on the severity as well as the diagnosis. But in any case, the first step is to get with a good therapist for a proper diagnosis.
Pd04: Yes i might just have trouble handling difficult emotions and i don't wish to let them get out of hand or grow any worse. Thank you so much i hopd you are doing well now. Looking for me: Oh i see. I feel like i'm really bad at romantic relationships due to my troublesome manner, even though i've been trying and sometimes succeed in turning the situation around. Thank you. Anthracite: That is true. The puberty thg was one of my suspected reasons but i've observed most friends seem to be able to cope. Different people have different hormone levels i guess. Chip: Thanks for sharing I just yearn for someone when i'm feeling helpless with this sometimes. It"s a bit hard for me to go to a clinician (staying at home, with parents, and i don't want them to know) but i hope to be able to, at least, talk to a professional about it.
Dealing with any sort of MI can be extremely difficult in day to day living. BPD is very often confused with Bipolar Disorder, even though they are not on the same spectrum (point number one for getting professional help). As others have mentioned all disorders have a continuum from very mild to severe. I also agree that you should see a qualified therapist to diagnose your condition. If that means leaving many of them behind to find the right one, so be it. Once you find a therapist you trust, know that your initial diagnoses may change, because the more you work with your therapist/clinician the better the "picture" they get of you. Leading to better treatment. So follow up! I have experience with DBT therapy. It basically helps you identify your feelings, and learn how to cope with them in a mindful way. Works for any sort of emotional issues (BPD/Bipolar/Self Harm, etc), but it requires a ton of practice. So don't get discouraged if things don't work out for you well at first. There will be slip ups. Talk therapy, or psychotherapy is just you talking to your therapist. Usually they will leave the topic up to you (what is most urgent in your mind). But at first they may ask many questions just to get a good idea of who you are and where you currently are at. Actually, crying out your emotions and screaming into a pillow are things that are considered coping mechanisms! This is because it releases some of your pent up emotions, but in a safe way. :icon_wink Please do see someone, and don't try to self diagnose. As they say, all medical students go through a phase where they "develope" the diseases they are studying! You will only end up more confused. Good luck in finding the help you need, Sebby45
YES!!! 100X yes. I hate when people say "why are you overreacting?" like, i'm not, these are my emotions.
