[Vent] Just went through a very heavy experience

tw: parental abuse (physical, verbal), homophobia, suicide, death threats, harassment, guns. if this is in the wrong section, i'm sorry

i just went through something kind of messed up... i think it's going to sit with me for a while. but i can't vent about it to any of my friends because they there with me, and i had to be strong for them... so i can't let them know how affected i am by all of this

my best friends parents are highly abusive, to the point where they've almost killed her before. they often make threats to kill her and her bird, they verbally decimate her, throw things at her, tell her that she's unlovable and not to ever trust anyone who ever says they love her... stuff like that. her parents also have a history of threatening to kill her, then her sister, then their spouse and then themselves. and it's mostly to do with her being gay. she started dating our mutual friend earlier this year, and since then the violence has increased 10 fold. her parents really hate the girlfriend (obviously), but also me, because my best friend (let's call her... idk. Bird.) came out to them only a month or two after befriending me, and i am gay. so i guess they blame me, yknow? i don't know.

this month bird, her gf, a couple of our mutual friends and i made a plan to get bird out of her household. we decided that on the 20th (today), while both her parents were at work, we were going to move her out of the house and into her gf's house. bird is 19 btw so this was all legal. she just couldn't tell them she was going to move out because there was a chance they might actually kill her. so we needed to sneak her out while they weren't home instead

i went over the gf's house to help them move everything in. as we're doing this, bird's dad (who is a corrections officer and carries a gun) called her over and over telling her things like "i'm going to go to jail if you keep this up" "you're about to ruin my career" "if you don't come home things will get messy for all of you", stuff like that. implying he was going to kill us. he said he was gonna find the house and stuff and i thought it was all talk because they had literally no idea where the gf lives. but somehow, after hours of searching, her found her apartment. he got into the building illegally somehow and was standing and ringing the bell and slamming on the door. her mom came too and she was banging too... and her mom is violent as hell. she is the one who has almost killed her. and they were saying they were going to go to the windows and find their way in and they were banging on the door all night and they were saying how they were going to stay there as long as it took to drag her out


i cannot even express how scared i was through words. i literally thought he was going to kill me. i was the one closest to the door and i watched as the doorknob turned and turned against the lock. all i could think was, i'm going to die tonight. the first time the knob turned against the lock i visibly flinched and jumped up. thankfully only one person saw that. i was trying so hard not to let it show, but my heart was beating so fast. i thought he was going to break in and kill us all. but i stayed by the door and i swallowed it all because i had to keep it together i had to be strong for her and i couldn't let my fear show at all. i had to protect her if he got through, no matter what

but i was so scared.. i really feared for my life. and i cant tell any of my friends because i had to keep it together and... its just a lot


we called the police, and eventually they came. we were trapped in the apartment for hours. we couldn't leave until the police were able to escort us to our cars. i'm also scared because both the parents know where i live and my back door doesn't lock and my mom's not home right now.

but even if they don't come tonight and they come some other day instead and my mom is home, theyre gonna tell her i'm gay. i'm not out to her or anyone in my family at all, so that though terrifies me almost as much as getting shot.
so... theres just a lot happening lol

thank y'all for reading this. i know there's not much anyone can say about a situation like this... but i just had to get it off my chest. because my entire support system was involved and are dealing with their own responses to it, so i can't share any of my fears with any of them. they have enough weight. they need someone who is stable and, at least externally, able to handle everything that happened. and that person is gonna have to be me