Hi So, here I'm, the title is clear per se. I don't know if I'm broken for life, or if there are permanent scars on my mind and emotions, but I do feel a lot. I feel that I can't trust neither men nor women for relationships. I feel they will cheat me on the first opportunity. I'm not the confident person people want. Not because I didn't tried improvements or to grow up in life. Since I was a kid, I've dealt with bullying, lots of it psychological, but some physical, and this destroyed me forever. And I couldn't help it... with the years passing, I've done lots of therapy and sessions, and discovered I have a weird mix of stuff: I'm bi (or gay, don't know yet), I have ADHD, Aspergers, social anxiety, I'm gifted (high IQ), I have lots of motor coordination problems. I'm a disaster of nature. This transformed me into a very sensible person....I can't stand even light jokes, because they hurt me on the core. They hurt me because people have no idea their jokes usually are about stuff I borned with, not a result of a bad decision-making or choice. I can't be the person the significant other expect to. Nor I think I have any conditions to raise confident, funny and successful kids. I feel so sad...I'm crying.... Everybody is more confident and better than me. I'm so distracted I always think different about issues, and people look at me as I'm some kind of weirdo. It's so fuckin hard to deal with so much........so fuckin' hard. I hate life. Is there any way for me to be happy and single? Maybe living with monks on Tibet...thei would be more respectful.... Idk...... :tears::tears::tears::tears:
John C89, Though I do not share the same issues as you, I do have ones of my own that affect my daily life. I often lack confidence in myself and feel that I am some sort of stranger in other people's eyes. I am very intellectual and often feel that others really don't understand what I mean. Like you, I cannot be the perfect significant other because of the things I deal with. I'm sorry you're having such a rough time, love. Somedays it is just normal to hate people for their ignorance. There is so much stigma about mental illnesses...well it is sickening! I would just mention to people who say such things that they are being insensitive. You don't have to say it is about yourself, neither should you have to endure hearing it! Maybe that will make them stop a bit. Don't ever compare yourself to other people. That is rule number one. It inevitably leads you down into a spiral of insecurity. You are you, and I am sure there are unique qualities about you that are worthy. You will always carry some scars, everyone does. Being single isn't the end of the world. Finding things that bring you joy is the key to being happy in the single life. Whether it is treating yourself to something you like, indulging in a hobby, browsing shops in your neighborhood, etc. Be free to be spontaneous! When you are single you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. That doesn't happen in a relationship. It may be hard at first, but it gets easier with time. And yes, there will be lonely days. The important thing is to recognize the feeling. Cry if you have to. Do something extra special for yourself on those days, and try to get out of the house. Keeping busy helps. And if all else fails, come here and vent! Best Wishes, Sebby45
Man, I get you. I don't have problems like that but I've had severe depression. The way to be single and happy is to be single. And then find what makes you happy and go for it.
Guys, I do get your point, and to start, I say thank you. Honestly, no. Today I had another prrof among the uncountable ones I had in my life, since I went to an university party, and there I met some people I did talked or had some kind of relationship from a medium/long time. Can you imagine my reaction when they threated me firstly ok, but then showed up more interest to pretty much anyone wo shoed up on the different groups? I felt excluded by them, like I have nothing of interesting. And honestly, I do believe I have nothing, since I don't know how to get a good conversation going or how to be funny. Usually the conversations only goes when I make jokes about myself or about mysery in general. Also....I cant stand the idea of being single and happy bc I don't think this is for everybody. I can picture this being easy on the beginning...but to the day my parents die, the day all of my friends already have their families and kids....the day everybody are going to be submersed on their daily routines...and I will be the one more lonely than ever. Bc is not only about a romantic partner, it's about having people who you connect with, share your stuff, even if idiot, and feel comfortable with. If you are single, you need to compensate with friends and family. If you lost these two parts too....you are stuck with nothing, but your dogs and the lady from the nearest grocery store. I can see a single there, for sure, but not a happy one, no matter how many hobbies, money or spiritual development you have. So I can't really picture something good from that. I tend to think people believe in a happy single life without taking the more distant future into account, which is something I think about as well..... All in all, just another miserable life in a sick society...
Maybe I'm the disaster I believe I'm...sometimes I wonder for how long can I handle a hopeless life..
John C89, I'm sorry to hear all this. I know what you mean about thinking about the future. I myself have "acquaintances" but no one I can call a close friend (except some family). And I shiver when I think about my siblings moving off and my parents passing away. I understand the terror of that kind of isolation. And I understand that living the single life is a lot more difficult for some more than others. I have always been more of a loner so it is easier for me to deal with...even when I get lonesome. But having no one to come home to when you've had a horrible day can be frustrating as :***:. Some people want to have children, or a spouse, and that makes single life almost unendurable because of that drive. So I'm sorry if I painted you a portrait of an "ideal" single existence. Like I said, some people just cope better than others with it. But there is no magic wand that can fix the hurt if that really isn't what you want. As you have already seen professionals for help, I am out of advice. Except that I urge you to hang in there. Don't let misery rob you of the little you have. All the best, Sebby45 (*hug*) P.S. And like I wrote before, come here and vent when you need to let it all out. There are many people here with various experiences who would be willing to lend an "ear."
