Today I went out with a friend, we were having fun until we started to talk about our crushes in general (since high school until uni) however, this time I wanted to reveal the pronouns of all the people I've had a crush on (all of them were female). Then, I remembered that my mum told me a few days ago that I should be careful with this because people would start avoiding me, so because of that I ended up using gender neutral pronouns until my gut told me that I should use masculine pronouns. This makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable, because I've been out to some of other friends (they are LGBT/allies already so no problem) and I don't feel like I'm hiding a part of me when I'm with them. (Specially when I have to rant about my crushes lol) I tried to brush it off, and remembered that I was grateful that I'd friends whom I can be myself and there're other LGBT+ people who have it way worse, but then we saw a straight couple making out and I don't remember how but she said that same-sex couples were yuckkkkkk! And that she was quite homophobic and made a nervous laugh. Then I asked her if she felt that way because she thought it was morally wrong or because she wasn't used to it (i had this phase were I thought only same-sex couples kissing was disgusting until I got used to it by watching pretty little liars and also I realized I was so into women) then she said that PDA in general made el her uncomfortable, however she kept referring LGBT people as weirdos or some kind of subversive group that was far outside of us. I tried to tell her that she should put herself in their shoes an all that kind of jazz, but she ignored me and changed the subject quickly. I can underestamd where she's coming from, I live in a conservative country so same-sex couples were never discussed to us because it's taboo (when I was 11 i thought that gay people were a joke and one had to be effeminate and the other had to be the guy because that's how they were/are portrayed in the media) Idk, maybe I'm making a big deal out of this. Should I come out to her? (Specially if I already lied and referred most of my crushes as guys) or should I keep hiding and avoid talking about crushes and pretend to be straight in front of her?
Not saying you should come out to her, you should feel comfortable when you want, but you shouldn't pretend to be anything to anyone. She might be a great friend to talk about other things but for relationships, she's not the best person to talk to. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I wouldn't come out to them.... You might lose a friend. But at the same time, if they really we're your friend, they wouldn't care if you identified as a horse who is attracted to Doritos so
Nahhh, I think you should distance yourself from her and find new people to be around with and who are open to accepting the lgbt community. People like that may seem like good friends at first, but the more you learn about their judgemental views about it, the worse it can get. It could definitely affect your coming out process (if you're not out at all). It sucks to be like that, but it can do more damage to your mental health then you might think. You shouldn't have to hide who you are as a person from anyone. Your mom is right about being careful around people and how you use your words, but if they decide to stay away from you, that's their issue, not yours.
I am not advising you what to do as I am certainly not qualified to do so but I wish I had just been me and my life and not hidden anything to keep friends who weren't really my friends. I am coming out now to, not so much as announcing it but no longer hiding it and answering with the truth if asked and so far the worst that has happened is one person telling me they have no problem with it but don't like seeing same sex couples being affectionate with each other. Most responses have been along the lines of "We wondered if you were ever going to tell us" Real friends won't care
