Nearly all of my friends are homophobes as in they constantly make fun of gays. Some of these people are my closest friends that I've had since preschool and I wouldn't every wasn't to give them up. But the problem is I also don't want to be living a lie. I've only told three of other friends that I was gay and they were pretty accepting of it but they weren't really homophobes to begin with so that really there only reason why I told them. As for my other friends, I have no idea if I should even be out to them at all. What should I do?
Hey man, I'd imagine you'll get some advice on here telling you that if they're you're true friends, that they will like you regardless of your sexuality And that advice is completely TRUE! That said, I know how hard it is to risk losing your oldest friends. Your friends that you have known you're whole life. Unfortunately, I haven't got the courage to come out to any of my friends yet, so I can't give you any advice based on my experience. But again, it is true! If they dislike you for something like you're sexuality....are they really worth it? All the best
I've come out to all my friends now and in the past with the exception of only one they have all made homophobic comments. Guess what though, everyone of them has been completely fine with me being gay, Probably because they have known me for years. If you come out and they accept you then you will have made them rethink being homophobic, which creates more tolerance in our society.
Homophobia, in my experience, is mostly cultural. I've known people and had friends who could be called sexists, racists, antisemites, whateverists.. and then when it comes to actual, real individuals they know, they are the most normal, tolerant and open people in the world. I still have friends who will throw out a homophobic comment just a sentence before asking me if I need company to go out to a gay club. In many cases when I came out to a friend, they would, within the same conversation, apologise for "any comment [they] might have made that was in bad taste". What I'm saying is: people are idiots, but mostly nice ones. Now, while I wouldn't expect them to push you away (though I can't know that, depends on where you live and what they are like), they will probably go on with the homophobic comments anyway. Also, you might not be able to trust them not to spread the information further, if that's important to you.
