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Struggling with loneliness

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by ZXCraft1357, Dec 29, 2016.

  1. ZXCraft1357

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    UK
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Family only
    Hi everyone, so this might be a long post so i'm sorry for that :kiss:,
    I have been really struggling to get on with my day to day life comfortably and happily, for a very long time. i have no friends, no partner, only talk to my mother, and have no social life whatsoever, but the thing that is causing me real angst atm is not having a girlfriend, haven't been in a relationship for over a year now, but it wasn't a good one though, it was pure hell if i can be honest, they were abusive and i think it only gave me more misery, it didn't improve the quality of my life.

    I know that having a girlfriend won't make all my worries and problems dissipate, but it's so difficult for my attention to be cast away from it, it's always on my mind, i guess i'm even more lonely because i've never had a supportive family background when i was young, so maybe that is making my neediness more extreme, trying to replace my past lack and hunger for love, and i guess not only that, i'd just like to have another supportive, loving and interesting girl in my life, that i can love and share my love of life with, just enjoy things together, and that i can relate to and not feel so alone in this world, i know it's a lot to ask for, and i'm setting high standards for being happy, but that
    is really what i wan't right now, it's hard to forget about it.

    I am afraid to go out to social setting with large amounts of people, where i come from the lgbt community is very intimidating, there is a lot of pressure put on each other to be a certain kind of 'lgbt person', and generally most of the people are very cold and do not allow people into their lives, they are very superficial and don't give each other many chances, and i've seen this kind of thing on popular online social networks, so that has really put me off meeting people in person and online, but i feel the only way to maybe meet a friend or partner is online, and that can be just as difficult in itself, people are just as scared to makes contacts online it seems, so i'm kind of lost as to what to do in order to meet someone, but i feel that this is the only way i can go about finding somebody at this time in my life, with all the anxiety right now stopping me from meeting people out in the open.

    Basically the reason why i'm posting this is because i just wan't some advice, ways i could deal with my loneliness, like tell me how you deal with it, and ways i could meet girls online, things like this, it would be greatly appreciated (*hug*)
     
  2. Confusedmoose

    Full Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Toronto
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Other
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi ZXCraft,
    I know how hard it is to have social anxiety. As difficult as it may be, you have to fight your fears (I'm not saying this will happen right away). Is there some activity that you and your mom could do to build your social network? Perhaps you'd feel more comfortable doing things by yourself after? I know it is not the same, but you have us here to help get you more comfortable socializing too.

    In terms of finding a girlfriend, there are a lot of good online dating sites. I found my boyfriend that way. Yes there are some not so nice people on there but I'd say that shouldn't deter you. Just use common sense.