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Worried About Gender Identity?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by rebelAssassin, Jan 8, 2017.

  1. rebelAssassin

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    Okay, so I identify as genderfluid. I've accepted this. But why does it feel like it changes? Sometimes I feel like I can control what gender I am by what clothes I wear, but other times I just have to suffer through choosing the wrong clothing? This is very confusing, and very stressful. Is this normal? Does this, like, invalidate me as a genderfluid? Please help. I'm sorry if this is the wrong place for this, but I didn't know where else to post. :help:
     
  2. Snowboy

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    You might want to post this in the Gender Identity subforum; you'll probably get a better response there.
     
  3. Snedels

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    Wow. First world problems. Does this really cause you to "suffer".

    Don't worry. Your gender does not change according to the clothes you put on. Gender is not a fashion statement.
     
  4. Creativemind

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    Um....I don't think gender has to do what clothes you wear that day. I mean, I'm a cis woman that never wears (super) girly clothes. I have a few tops from the women's section, but I also sometimes wear men's tops and pants. Or geeky hoodies. And I would be caught dead before I ever put on a skirt or a dress, even for formal occasions.

    That's not to say that genderfluid people don't exist, but I think you should look at it more of what kind of dysphoria and physical/social desires you have.
     
  5. jadey95

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    If you're genderfluid, your gender is going to change. (If I'm understanding you properly.) I also agree that clothing doesn't dictate gender. It can help you express gender, but it doesn't control gender. Gender is much more complex than that I feel.

    Now, I'm not trying to invalidate you by what I'm saying. I still feel that if you believe you identify as genderfluid, you're valid. I'm just saying that you might want to look more into this beyond clothing. So, I agree with Creativemind on that you should look into the physical/social desires you have and possible dysphoria.
     
  6. rebelAssassin

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    I have considered dysphoria, but I don't think that the reactions I have toward certain things are extreme enough to be dysphoria. I'm not trying to downplay anything, either. From what I've heard, dysphoria is bad reactions. My reactions are usually just extreme discomfort.
     
  7. AnAtypicalGuy

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    Dysphoria is mainly discomfort, not so much "bad reactions". They don't need to be extreme either, as they vary from person to person. Could you describe your feelings of discomfort?

    Also, it isn't possible to "control your gender" with clothes, so are you sure you don't mean something else?
     
  8. jadey95

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    I would say that still qualifies as dysphoria. It can range in severity.
     
  9. Hats

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    Fluidity can be painful, can't it? (*hug*)

    For me as a fluid person, my gender changes aren't really connected to my clothes or presentation, although I did have a shift to feminine after my partner taught me how to do my own eyeliner. Indeed, my first shift happened when I was dressed 100% in male clothing at work. In general they happen at random, usually when I can't change my presentation to match, which can be painful if I get hit by dysphoria at the same time (again, doesn't always accompany a shift).

    I think you'd get more responses from fluid people in the Gender Identity forum - several of them hang out there on a fairly regular basis.
     
  10. rebelAssassin

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    The discomfort is usually just with my chest. I'm not sure that's entirely normal, but I can forget about lower areas when there isn't blood involved. As for the discomfort, I've noticed that it's mostly present when I identify as a they or a he. I suspect it's always there on some level, because even when I feel feminine I still feel weird if I catch anybody staring at me. I automatically assume they're looking at my chest. I'm unsure as to whether this is because I'm more 'they' than 'she' at those times, or if I'm usually a 'they' that just feels feminine sometimes. I'm still not sure exactly how this equals dysphoria, or what type of dysphoria it would even be, but that would explain a lot.

    As for the clothing, I've given it some thought. I've come to believe that a large part of that is that I usually identify as a 'they.' The problem with my clothing is that it's all styled for female bodies. I realize that I have one, much as I hate it, but that doesn't necessarily change anything for me. All of the clothing I have is feminine: baby-doll tees, shirts that are low cute, shirts that try to mold to my figure. I've stopped wearing the super girly ones altogether, and whenever I go out I wear the leather jacket I got for Christmas because it hides my figure.

    ---------- Post added 15th Jan 2017 at 07:36 AM ----------

    I'm going to go ahead and recreate this over in the Gender Identity forum, so