Hi everyone! So I need some advice regarding this girl I like. It’s a messy situation. First off, I don’t even know if she is into girls. She’s definitely into guys though, so I guess my only hope is that she is bi, pan, closeted..whatever. So, I’m pretty sure I have no chance anyway. But I want to at least be her friend and kind of in her life. Right now we’re on the same basketball team, so we see each other almost everyday at practice. She’s a freshman and I’m a junior, which I don’t think matters that much, but it does make things a little harder. She has her own separate group of friends and I have my group of friends. I think she likes me as a person, though, but I don’t know as a friend. Sometimes I think she’s intimidated by me, but other times I think she’s comfortable around me. She’s very touchy, but it’s not just with me. It’s with people she feels comfortable around, I guess. She thinks I’m some goddess that’s good at everything, even though that is not true at all, which I feel like might be the intimidation factor. But she doesn’t seem like the type of person to be intimidated by people...she’s very outgoing, to the point where it’s kind of obnoxious sometimes. But she likes to hang out with me because she’ll invite me places. One night me and a couple other people from the team went to the boys basketball game and she invited me to dinner with the rest of the people that were going (they made plans beforehand and I just kind of showed up). We’re both big New York Islanders fans and she said we have to go to a game together. So, I really want that to happen, but the whole team is probably going to end up going, because everyone else chimed in and said they wanted to go also. Obviously, I kind of just want to go to one with just her, but I can’t tell everyone else they can’t come haha. So, now you know the situation and kind of where we stand, I need help being confident. I’m horrible and can’t read the signs. I think she enjoys my company but I don’t know if she actually wants to be my friend like I want to be hers. I feel like she’s been initiating everything and I’m too scared to reciprocate. So I guess I basically just need advice on how to be more confident and not nervous. Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this.
I think you can safely match her level of friendliness and be fairly certain she'll be cool with it. So, if she invites you to a group event, you can also suggest a group event; if she suggests going to the mall to get new basketball shoes, you can suggest adding on a visit to the food court; if she is exuberant after a point, you can do the same, etc. Get it? I wouldn't do anything to get your romantic hopes up because, as you say, she likes boys but making friends, in general, will certainly help your confidence.
