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I am a lesbian but I think a boy likes me so how do I tell him that I'm gay without h

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by PinkCat, Jan 19, 2017.

  1. PinkCat

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    I'm in high school. There is a guy in one of my classes, and I am almost certain he likes me. Of course, I'm not 100% sure so I don't want to make him feel awkward. I'm an out lesbian, but sometimes I have trouble expressing this to people. Before I lead him on any further, I want to tell him that I like girls. I don't want him to feel hurt, embarrassed, or angry or anything. Please don't just tell me to tell him I'm gay, because I know I need to do that, I just don't know how; I think simply saying "I'm gay" would just put him in an awkward position because then I'd basically be accusing him of liking me. I'd rather somehow work it into a conversation or something. I really think I should tell him now because I think I've let this go on for too long already. Thank you :slight_smile:
     
  2. Creativemind

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    Re: I am a lesbian but I think a boy likes me so how do I tell him that I'm gay witho

    I suppose you can sneak it in conversation when It's relevant. Like if he talks about girls he likes, you can too.

    I wouldn't recommend coming out to reject him though, since many men think they can turn a lesbian straight. They don't see it as real rejection- it just makes them try even harder. Nothing wrong with being out to everyone though, but it might not go well if you're hoping he'll back off just because he knows.
     
  3. Lynz

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    Re: I am a lesbian but I think a boy likes me so how do I tell him that I'm gay witho

    Hi PinkCat!

    Welcome to EC!

    I would say try starting a conversation about a movie or tv program and chuck in about how u think that the actress in it is gorgeous. That way he hears that you are gay without you having to direct it anywhere near him.

    This came to mind because I did it at work today hahaha with a new Manager. He was moaning about the girls in the office drooling over Ryan Gosling, like ALL DAY, coz they had been to see LaLaLand. He said "Only Lynz is the sensible one here". The girls all nearly died laughing because they know me well. I said I would about Emma Stone but I prefer bigger boobies. The Manager went "Oh. Right." and walked away. I don't need to come out to him now :grin:
     
  4. Kira

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    Re: I am a lesbian but I think a boy likes me so how do I tell him that I'm gay witho

    I've had this happen twice, exactly both times I tried to explain the situation to a straight guy. I don't get how it's that far over some people's heads but I couldn't comprehend it. I'd imagine not everyone is that daft but from my experience I'd say it may be best to seek less direct routes because of the ones that do this.

    ...I'm not too sure about how to do that though. I've sort of feigned being asexual before to keep them off me, but I try to avoid that these days because it's both dishonest and probably not too helpful for the people who really are.
     
  5. Creativemind

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    Re: I am a lesbian but I think a boy likes me so how do I tell him that I'm gay witho

    I agree. It's difficult because I really really do not want to lie when I reject someone either. I feel like telling a complete lie (like "I'm not ready for a relationship right now") can cause trouble, since the guy can hold on to false hope and become a much bigger threat if he found out you lied (and I'll admit I've been pissed off at people who used that to reject me as well, so I don't like doing it to others). What I started doing instead was simply saying "I'm not interested". It's not a lie, but it also doesn't entitle them to all of the details. If they press for more, I repeat and then try to run away from them.
     
  6. PinkCat

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    Re: I am a lesbian but I think a boy likes me so how do I tell him that I'm gay witho

    Update: I told this guy that I like girls, and he took it well. However, he doesn't constantly compliment me or text me like he used to now that he knows, which is unfortunate because I enjoyed the flattery and talking to him. I really do think he liked me, but I'm glad I told him sooner rather than later, and he is extremely supportive. He actually came out to me as bisexual in the process :slight_smile:
     
  7. Myles Kramer

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    Re: I am a lesbian but I think a boy likes me so how do I tell him that I'm gay witho

    thats so cool!