So I'm 21 years old and really never had any physical contact with another human whatsoever. I guess being closeted didn't help but I've also never really tried to hookup with anyone or anything. I think most of the reason for this was because I was basically in love with my best friend and didn't see any reason to go after anyone else because no one could compare to him. After like 4 years of having crazy feelings for him I finally told him everything. He told me he's straight and it killed me for a little bit and made things pretty awkward between us. We had another conversation about it a couple days ago and we smoothed things over a little bit I told him I just wanted to stay friends he said he wanted the same. So anyway now I'm finally working on moving on from him and trying to meet other people. I've been on ****** for a while but I've always had my preference or whatever on girls so I've never really taken it seriously. I switched it to guys recently and found it much more interesting. I matched with a guy and we talked for a little bit and everything started to get real I guess. I swiped through guys on ****** until it said that there was no one new in my area. I was just curious, so I made a ****** and I was not ready for that. Within 15 minutes of making it, I had like 10 people message me, including one who lived in my building. He said he was a couple floors down and was horny. This was way more than I expected and I had to tell him I was a little overwhelmed and I'd let him know when I was ready. I guess I'm just scared to really do this.... I don't know if I'm scared to be intimate with someone, scared to be with a guy, embarrassed of my body, or maybe some combination of all three. I want to meet people and hook up with people because I've been incredibly lonley my whole life but.... I don't know I'm just scared. I'm also not out like at all except to that one friend so maybe that's another factor idk... any advice on this would be greatly appreciated
I know lots of people use apps to hook up, but I would be just as scared as you. I'm in my mid twenties and I've been intimate with two guys so far in my life, and they were both people that I knew and trusted beforehand. I personally wouldn't want to hook up with a stranger. Maybe you could do coffee and get to know the person first? I have to say that when it came down to it, my body insecurities (I used to be VERY sensitive and easily embarrassed) just simply weren't an issue the first time I got intimate. They just suddenly weren't important, which surprised the heck out of me. I'm sure it's different for everyone, but I hope you have a good experience too. One more thing. I'm prone to feeling really lonely, like you. I don't have a significant other, so I feel like that quite often. And while the few times I've hooked up have felt really good, it doesn't fill the loneliness void for long. What does do that is friendship. It would be ideal if the two coincided, wouldn't it? Anyways, just my experience.
