Hey guys. I kind of wanted to unload some issues I've had and never gotten talk or advice on for many years. I'm a senior in college, graduating in May. I've been out as a gay guy since I was 12, but since I've been on the chubby side my whole life I've never even had someone interested in me before. It got worse weight wise but I've recently lost 80 pounds, but I'm not slim or fit by a long mile. In the past few months it's become extremely apparent how lonely I am. I've seen a lot of happy queer couples at my college despite being in the rural south, but I don't live at campus and commute from an hour away in a small farming town. I'm almost 22 and still wondering what it's like to even talk to another guy in all honesty, I've only really had girls as friends, or even hug or hold hands with someone, and I'm just i guess secretly envious, and both very hurt that I'll probably not have the opportunity to experience love being so heavy. I'll never not be a little pudgy so as a gay man I'm fucked. I just don't know what I can do? I hate this and I feel like if I can't connect with someone before I graduate, I never will.
Well, in reality clubs, bars and such are always good if you want to find friends. If you aren't really an outgoing person, Internet is your friend, and you can get more friends with it, chats are everywhere on Internet, find one, talk, be yourself and wait for people to talk back. Not all people will answer, but some might. And you have a lot of friends here on EC (*hugs*)
I don't know how much you weigh but maybe it's as much as an issue as you might think. And some people don't care about weight. Maybe it takes a bit longer to get in a relationship. But you should know that you're complete without a boyfriend. Don't be pressured by age or society. Somtimes these standards are stupid and unreasonable.
There are other ways you can put yourself out there, dating apps and all that. I've personally never used them but I've heard of others that had great success with them. What I really wanted to say sort of mirrors Anthracite. There are many people out there who don't have any problem dating someone who is heavier. My fiance is a pretty large fellow. Lately he's' been trying to lose weight but that is for himself, not me. I've loved him for years just as he is and I think he's beautiful. I am glad that he's felt more confident lately, but that's more of a side effect of his own life choices. If you really want someone, just be yourself and someone is bound to love all the things that make you who you are. But don't be distressed if it takes some time, real love just about always does.
You're still young. A lot can happen in the years to come. I never thought I would be where I am when I was 22.
