To anyone out there who is a tomboy or identifies with a nonbinary gender, what clued you in to figuring out that that is who you are? I am genuinely curious as to what different people define those things as. I'm also trying to figure myself out, whether I have a nonbinary gender or I'm just a major tomboy, and maybe using other people's experiences as examples would be able to help me out in any way. Post your own experiences below.
I considered myself a tomboy for many years, not knowing there was another option that might describe me. How did I find the difference? First, I often fantasize about having a penis. That's not a tomboy thing! I think about having sex as a male, and being on the penetrating end of penetrative sex. I don't want to stop being a girl, but I also want some of the boy parts. Do you feel like there is a male inside somewhere, grumbling or even screaming at you to let him out, or do you simply enjoy some typically male activities and have typically male hobbies? For me, it was a realization that there is a piece of me inside that is thoroughly masculinized, I can operate socially better as a male in a woman's body than a woman in a woman's body. But I love my woman's body enough that I don't want to give it up.
Well, I call myself tomboyish because I'm not a fully-fledged tomboy, as I don't wear men's clothes (for fear I'd look butch) but I'm definitely not a girly-girl. I don't like having my nails done or painted, I don't like make-up, dresses, skirts or heels. I'm not pink-crazy and generally prefer the company of men over that of women. I am a beer-drinking-burping-contest-arm-wrestling type of woman who doesn't cross her legs or sit in a ladylike way. I like to sit comfortably. My room is also a mess most of the time, but that's more a case of laziness than anything else :lol:
For me it was a case of one morning in the middle of work feeling totally 100% female and it being obvious that this feeling was the difference between “I feel girly” and “I AM a girl” and it came with a bunch of social dysphoria. But this feeling only lasted for 90 minutes and then I was back and secure in my boyhood again. I then had a weird month where nothing happened at all, and then when my switches started again I logged my changes for three months. At the end of it I was convinced. I imagine that a tomboy (or tomgirl in my case) would not feel this; they’d feel secure in their cis identity, it’s just that their presentation would be markedly more masculine or feminine than usually associated with their gender.
The first thing the clued me in to being genderfluid was my bottom dysphoria. That in itself could've meant many things, but the fact was that even when I was having (and comfortable with having) a more girly moment, that dysphoria was still present. I neve quite understood why until I did some more looking into myself. I recognized my increasingly masculine side especially when I was around other women, but I was never 100% male. Never 100% female. Still had 100% bottom dysphoria regardless. Gender is a fickle thing.