When is it time to leave? If you are in a relationship that doesn't seem fulfilling even though you care for someone is it time to end that relationship? I mean even if the person is slowly making the changes needed....when is slow too slow? Anyone been in a situation like this?
It sounds like you already talked to them about it and they're working on it, that's great. Changes take time, they rarely happen overnight. The question is if they do everything right, are you still going to want to be with them?
If you still love the other person it's always worth considering relationship counselling. Many of the issues that arise in relationships can be overcome with guidance, help and support and sometimes it takes another person (a qualified relationship counsellor) to point out the behaviour patterns, obstacles and barriers that are causing problems. Working with a relationship counsellor you can become more attuned to what's happening and develop a strategy for success and that's got to be good.
For me personally, yes. Of course it depends on the context of the question. If I'm dating someone and 3 months in we are having to have these existential conversations, then yes I will run as fast as I can If its someone who I have had years of happiness with and then all of the sudden I need a change, then I will fight for the relationship. But if at the end of the day my gut says that I need to call it, then that's what I would do. While being love is wonderful, you need more than love to have a healthy relationship. And a lot of the times just because you are in love doesn't mean that you should stay.
This person has really bad ADHD and Depression. While I am not blaming their disorders nor blaming anyone with this disorder.... it's a major issue here. I've been in this person's life/been with this person for almost 4 years. This time this person has actually made a huge change. I broke up with this person Beginning of March 2016...and told them that I need more than what they are giving and that i wish the best. December 2016 this person reached out to me and made the big change. Then told me that in paraphrased term they couldn't just be friends with me because they are heavily attracted to me. So a few weeks later this person invited me over and I saw some of the changes this person actually made. But, I also realized this person is really depress. I am not sure if they are very depress because of the change they made or if this is just the mood disorder. I don't think this person is open to therapy. I told this person to go to therapy for their self like a year & half ago....as far as I know this person hasn't. I know it has only been 2ish months since we got back in contact.... but I feel like it's just falling back into the same patterns. I am just not sure if I am being impatient or if these are just red flags. I really care for this person deeply....I am just doubting if my care is at the level of (partnership) love at this point. I am not sure if I have fallen out of love...I just need a different relationship dynamic at this point in my life. This change this person has made in just as important for their own growth...so it's hard to tell if the change is only made for their self or the change was made for both of us. I need to figure out the laws and boundaries of this relationship. I just have no clue how to approach this person to find it out or if I should want till mid summer to bring it up. This is a question that I been asking myself lol. I have no clue how I would feel. I mean not to sound weird... but I have no clue how to really have a relationship or if I am capable of it. I never grew up around relationships that were monogamous or really full of trust. My grandmother got divorced, my mother is married to my father even though they live separately, and my aunt well always had an open relationship and to me a significant other that stayed in her life for like 26 years they live separate and he is honestly not the most trust worthy. I don't want to repeat those patterns. So it's puts me in a icky position.....even if I want to be with this significant other...how do I know I am not just beginning the same patterns as the women in my family. I just am not sure if beginning a relationship again or staying in a "It's complicated" with problems is a foolish decision or if it isn't a foolish decisions...that it will get better and that I will learn how to work through problems on a partnership level. ---------- Post added 10th Feb 2017 at 03:42 PM ---------- Yea, I totally understand if I was dating this person for 3 months and their were these issues that I would just end it lol. Sadly, but I guess good it's been years of relationships. Agree with the last portion too.... I am just question if a healthy relationship will happen. This person has really been making the changes...then in the last portion of 2016 they made the change... I just not sure how serious this change is and if I even fit in the equation. I hate being at crossroads... feel like all aspects of my life are at crossroads for the last 2 years really.
Sorry for all the long responses... I just guess I need to also get out a of thoughts at the same time of replying.
