So I finished high school last year, University Orientation doesn't start until the 20th and I am alone all day at home because I'm evidently unemployable and basically since the minute we graduated no-one has been interested in me or spending time with me. I am so over this loneliness thing. Seriously, I don't think I can take it much longer. The days drag, a week feels like it lasts a year and I've been doing this for 3 months. Not to mention the literal hundred and something jobs I've applied to in the past year and the all of one reply I got which was "no", I seriously feel like I'm becoming a burden because I have nothing to contribute. Nothing interesting happens with my day, no one says hi back, all my young friends are back at school and all my friends my age or older are off partying at places I'm either not invited or unable to get in. I can't go to my best friend's single launch because it's an 18+ event. My friends from other circles don't want to go anywhere because we're in the middle of a heatwave so whoopdy freaking doo I have nothing scheduled for my Friday night. Again. I've organised and re-organised everything for uni multiple times and therefore have nothing left to do. I'm seriously just over all of this. I want to be clear, I am not suicidal, nor have I ever attempted or intended to take my own life but I feel like if this situation continues I might end up doing that. Like I feel that's a natural conclusion to the feelings I'm having right now. All of the media I enjoy, I'm now caught up on and while I have things to look forward to, that doesn't change the fact that I feel awful right now. The only people I get responses from I feel like they're just being polite and pretending to want to talk to me. I thought writing this would be therapeutic but it hasn't been and that's irritating me a bit now.
I feel lonely, not because I dont have friends but because of the reason I come here.. and it got me a little down lately where I hold of contacts because I feel lonely around people even more. I am going trough a phase a bit, usually I am optimistic and a dreamer and whatnot. Maybe like in a previous post a poster advised, go to the gym by yourself and focus on getting fit and you will meet new people. Sometimes it can be refreshing to meet some new people. And the work out will produce positive chemicals.
I know exactly how you feel. I've been there, my summer before College started was not at all the fun I thought it was supposed to be. Not to mention how all the jobs rejecting you really really hits you in the heart and you don't even realize it until you find yourself thinking "well fuck no one wants me". It is hard. It's probably the hardest thing you've gone through yet, and that no one quite realizes it makes it worse. If I were you, I'd reach out to your best friend. I'd let them know that you're feeling more down than usual. If they are a good friend they will be there for you, come over and entertain you in their free time. But most importantly, hang in there. There can't be that much longer until school starts and you will be surrounded by tons of interesting and different people. I know it sucks to read "hang in there", but really you're life is about to get 100x better once you move into your dorm and start classes. You'll be fighting for alone time with all the people around and this summer will be a distant grey memory.
I would actually invite you to shift your focus from the outside world and instead focus internally while you wait for Uni to start. Once Uni starts being social will be much easier. So don't worry about friends right now, they will come. What are things that would make your day interesting? What would make you happy? Think about what truly speaks to you and not what you "should be doing" For example, I literally took a whole summer, turned my phone off so friends wouldn't contact me, and I played one of my favorite games like it was a job for a whole month. Did people think it was weird? Yes, but that is still one of my favorite summers from my teenage years because I got to do exactly what I found fun and fulfilling. So if your answer is "hanging out with friends" then hanging out doing what? Playing video games? Eating food? What would you want to do? Where would you want to go? Why not go by yourself? You need to get out there and stop waiting for people to join you. You will meet the right people on your way while you do exactly what makes you happy.
I would suggest that you volunteer. Find a cause that is important to you and begin volunteering for that cause. There you will meet people who share your interest in the cause, forget the loneliness because you will be busy, and you'll gain experience in the issue that is important to you. Plus, volunteerism always looks great for school and job applications. There are so many causes that could benefit from your help. Animal shelters, food banks, soup kitchens, homeless shelters, assisted living facilities, hospitals, community gardens, and on and on. So, what interests you? I hope these ideas help. Take care. ride:
Funnily enough all the places I've tried to volunteer at have turned me away too. Not to say your suggestion was a bad one, it's great and everyone should get out and volunteer but I'm apparently unable to commit for long enough for them. I understand for sure, the revolving door of people that volunteer purely for the resume is awful and I've dealt with the type in volunteer work I do (Only long weekends and there aren't many soon)
