Does anybody have advice on how to forget somebody? Like...really, really forget a person. I used to to love a guy. I thought he was perfect. He wasn't. He was straight, which complicated things. I had met him 4 years ago at a summer program, and kept in touch with him after we went our ways. We both came to the same college last year. The first few months were magical: I was out, I had a good friend to talk to, and was finally coming out of my shell. Then, one of our college's big traditions came up. A large part of the student body kisses at midnight at a certain location. And..I wanted him to be my first kiss. I asked him to meet me an hour or two before the event. I then hinted at asking him. He exploded. Telling me that he was straight, that I needed to grow up, that I had a "fixation" etc. etc. He ended up walking away and I went back to my dorm and cried for the first time about something not academically related. I never talked to him again, but would occasionally think of him. My last night before the school year ended, was filled with "i hate u, i luv u". Over the summer, I tried to deal with my feelings, and it worked to some extent. A few weeks ago, I had a dream where I was on a beach, walking away from the ocean; i ended up tripping over him; I said sorry. Fast forward to today. I had an allergic reaction to something in the dining hall. Since we had the same allergies, I figured that I should at least warn the guy, and texted him about it. I then texted "and for what it's worth: I'm sorry". Y'know what he did? He texted me a full on rant about how I was trying to "crowbar" my way back into his life and was on a fool's errand to do so. Thing is, I thought I had gotten over him. I texted him because I didn't want him to die (he always left his epi-pen lying around 4 years ago). And I apologized because, even though I knew that the bridge was burned, even though he was the one that hurt me...I think I wanted closure. I got a full on rant on my phone, and him saying to never contact him that way ever again. Right now...I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired. I had an allergic reaction today, which is emotionally draining, then have a pset due tomorrow, and also had to deal with this shit, and on top of it, two benadryl makes me incredibly apathetic and tired. Part of me wants him in my life. But I know that it's not going to be healthy for me if I keep doing this to myself. The guy that I met 4 years ago is gone. I just want to forget him. And if not forget him, i want to make it so that I only think of him once a decade, rather than once a month.
In order to fully forget someone and move on from them, is to erase all contact with them. That includes their number, social networking etc. If you keep their number, you'll always think of them, and if you think of them, you can't forget them. I've been in many situations with unreciprocated feelings towards another. It sucks, and there are days I think I'll never get over them and forget them...and, in time, I do. And sometimes the cycle repeats itself, but you will get over it, and in time, if you allow yourself, you will heal and realize how silly you were to be so hung up over one person (I know I have done that plenty a time). You will survive this. Also, the best way to get over someone is to do things that will distract and distance you from them. Maybe find someone who will return the feelings. I know you really like this guy, but you deserve someone who will be able to return the feelings. Try putting yourself out there romantically and find other men who like men. I know you are probably heart broken right now, but just allow yourself to heal. (*hug*)
"It's hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember" -unknown When your thinking about him in a way where you almost like miss him, try to think of the less nice moments with him and the reasons why he's not good for you. The less nice memories you recall of him the less you will think about him. The more you connect him with positive emotion the less you'll think about him. P.S. I'm no psychologist and this is based on my own experience with psychology and bad memories.
