Severe Anxiety and Depression

Hey, I can totally relate. I'm depressed and suicidal I often feel more alone than I am. Although I'm incredibly socially awkward, I still managed to make some friends; one way that I make friends is by hanging out with my brother when his friends are around, especially since he's younger than me so it feels easier to talk to his friends. So not only do I make friends with his friends, but I also practice talking to people. Another way that I've managed to make some friends is by making a funny remark to the person sitting next to me if I'm in a situation where I can get away with it. Finally, I try to approach people who also seem mostly alone so that they're less likely to ignore me in favor of pre-existing friends, and they also might understand more of what I'm going through.
Also, if you need to talk to someone, feel free to talk to me. An internet friend isn't nearly as good as a real friend, but at least you can talk to me.

 

I hear ya. I've had anxiety and depression and self harmed for years. Had suicidal thoughts more than once. Cant type much cause I gotta clock in for work. Just wanted you to know there are others who feel similarly. This site is just one reason I haven't - can't - give up cause most people are really nice. Complete strangers, or barely acquaintences, most of them.

 

I actually completely understand this - this sounds like a diary entry from my life. I've been there still am but I'm kind of getting better very slowly. Don't be afraid to look for a good therapist and/psychiatrist. Be safe and learn coping mechanism that help you. It's hard and you're an incredibly strong person - you have to be when you struggle with anxiety and depression. Know that there are other people dealing with these issues and I'm here to tell you that it is tough and it's so worth it. For the first time in several years I actually truly considered making it passed high school/college - it was crazy incredible. I actually felt happy for the first time in ages about a month ago. It does get better slowly but it does.

 

I can definitely relate. I have that same feeling, where I just feel that I'm missing out and that I'm behind of my friends. Sometimes I just listen to music and cope with it, and think that everyone moves according to their own clocks. Some people catch on quicker, others slower, and I feel, for that very purpose, everything happens for a reason. The more you meet with people, the more you begin to understand. That's just me though.
I'd probably avoid the medications, because most of the times, our minds are our own worst enemy. If you're able to work through it, you'll definitely develop to be strong. When you hit an all time low, there's nowhere else to go but up. I never really had a innocent happy childhood like the others have, but it's also made me the person that I am today, and the respect that I received from other people. It's not in me to put those very people down.

 

Well that's tough. I think I never suffered from major depression but somehow I can relate to the feeling of desperation. However I suffered from extreme anxiety and agoraphobia.

It started when I was fifteen, suddenly I couldn't be without the feeling that everything was falling to pieces and thinking that I was going to die. I became a
hypochondriac. I couldn't be in crowded places without starting to panick. It began to affect my performance in school. My mom had to pick me up from there every two days. It got to the point I couldn't even take the bus alone. Eventually it got so bad that I couldn't even go outside home and when I was there I felt trapt.
Worse part of it is that my mother was starting to lose her patient with me. she didn't believed that something was wrong she though I was exaggerating and overreacting.
That was until my gradma and my uncle (who had gone through something similar) told her that I wasn't faking it.
That I was sick and needed help.
One day we attended to a meeting for people with phobias there were people who overcome anxiety and were there to help.
I don't remember her name but there was this old lady who told my mother " I know how he feels, i've been trough it, he isn't faking it. This just cannot magically disappear, your son needs your help and as his mother you need to be there for him” I was infinitely grateful to her even today I still am.

From that moment mom changed, she help me through it doing her best to support me explaining my condition to teachers and directives in school.
I did therapy ,I practiced martial arts to release stress with a wonderful teacher (may he rest in peace) who help to overcome those fears.
After a year I had my life back I was doing well in school, sports even my teachers notice the change.
However in my senior year of high school I suffered a relapse in which I experimented strange pains a feeling of depersonalization ( some times I wouldn't recognize myself in the mirror or feeling like was seeing a movie from above) and minor depression. A psychiatrist prescribed me two meds and I started to recover but it wasn't until I said "this shit is not going to control my life" that I really started to get better.

My last isolated episode was three years ago. And I barely take any meds, just one and only a small dosis a day.

Trust me, it will get better as long as you don't give up. You just need some willpower and something to pour that energy into something that you enjoy. I know that most of the time people don't realize about what your going through even if your falling apart from the inside but there's no greater satisfaction that the feeling of realization from overcoming those fears and negative emotions.

That was my personal experience.
Sorry if it was long as fuck but is because somehow I relate.

Stay strong. And as the people above said you will become stronger both mentally and emotionally.

 

I can relate to some of the stuff you put here. I have always been socially awkward as well. I have always been shy to some extent. Sometimes, my level of shyness isn't always evident. But it's still there. Also, I suffer from mild OCD and some anxiety. My OCD problem makes my anxiety bad. Back in late 2016, I was having the hardest time with anxiety. I struggled day in and day out with this mental torture. There were times in which I wasn't completely comnisuned with anxiety. But most of the time, the anxiety would dominate the majority of my thoughts. These are feelings that I do not wish on anyone.

Now that I wrote out my problem, I would suggest taking it one day at a time. Just try to do whatever makes you happy in the moment.

 

I can relate, I've suffered from social anxiety since I was about 11 or 12 and had depression the past few years. Back at school and through my first few years at uni I struggled so much. I’ve found lectures and tutorials difficult to focus in because I’m so aware of my surroundings and how I’m presenting myself to others. I still agonise over speeches for weeks before I even have to do them. I haven’t made any new close friends since school and only have two that I can really talk to and be completely myself around. So I completely get where you’re coming from, maybe try joining a social club or something? That’s actually something I’m planning on doing this year, I’d like to challenge myself and make new friends. One thing that I think has helped a bit is CBT. My anxiety is slowly improving, but still needs work.

I was at my lowest point at the end of last year, I had a lot of spare time and was at home depressed, I felt like things would never get any better and was generally just putting myself down. Actually what you wrote about the canoe is exactly how I felt. What I found really helped was speaking to friends about how I was feeling and surrounding myself with people, not isolating myself. Do you have family you can talk to? I also tried to change my negative self talk to positive thoughts. I realised the root of my problem was that I didn't have a regular job (was only working a few times a year) and the negative thoughts were obviously not going to help me get employed because I wouldn't be putting across the body language etc that employers were looking for. So I worked really hard to change that around and have actually recently got employed. My whole perspective has now changed and I feel like a completely different person. So things really can get better. Maybe you could try to set goals for yourself? Try to step out of your comfort zone, just a little bit, and you might find it's really rewarding as you'll be proud of yourself for achieving something. Also writing in a journal can be helpful as you get your thoughts out of your head. About taking medication, I was prescribed anti-depressants but never ended up taking them. I was worried about the side-effects as well and thought well I'll give myself one month to sort myself out (exercise, goals, family, journal) and if I haven't improved then I'll give them a go. I'm really glad I didn't take them, but everyone's different. If you trust your therapist and feel like you have a support system to get you through any possible side-effects then maybe they could help.

I know I've written a lot, but hopefully some of this might be helpful to you. Things will improve.