I'm feeling frustrated after my most recent therapy session. I'm going to an LGBT-affirmative therapist, but I feel like he doesn't understand my situation. I wrote him a summary of all the awful things that my parents and friends said about LGBT people over the years because I want him to help me deal with the emotional damage it did to me. But even after I gave him that summary, he said something like, "It sounds like your parents were pretty indifferent about LGBT people, or if they were saying homophobic things, they were just kind of going along with the majority of people who were homophobic." And I'm just like...what? I'm pretty sure my environment was quite homophobic, and my therapist seems like he's downplaying it quite a bit. It makes me feel invalidated, like my suffering appears to be no big deal to him. It makes me upset.
I was about to post almost the same thing, about issues with therapy hahaha. In your case, I guess that what your therapist is trying to do is not label your parents and friends as homophobic so you wouldn't have bad feelings towards him. Maybe he's downplaying it a little so your feelings towards those people doesn't change. I told my therapist about some homophobic things my family things and she just says that they are indoctrinated to think and feel that way, but that doesn't really define them. She says that people change slowly over time, so if you grew up in such an enviroment, doesn't mean that it's going to be the same anymore. Have you brought up any LGBT related subjects with your family recently? You can start slowly doing it and expressing your points of view so maybe you can help deconstruct homophobic thoughts. I know many people who matured their opinions about the matter. Anyways, if you feel this way, you should mention it to your therapist, you can tell him how you feel about this, tell him that it bothers you, so maybe he can change his approach. You should definetely feel comfortable when bringing any kind of subject in therapy and you should tell how you feel about what he tells you, even if you agree or not. Therapists aren't always right about everything they say, they are also human. Bringing your thoughts about how you feel about what he says can maybe help him understand you better and change his perspective of things. Maybe I'm totally wrong about this, but I hope I could help you out somehow
My family is pretty much 100% supportive of LGBT issues now, but the issue for me is that I have flashbacks about the stuff they used to say and I have trouble getting it out of my head. I have always been very close with my parents but ever since I realized I was gay and came out to them, it scares me that they used to be so homophobic and that they indoctrinated me to also be homophobic. And to basically dislike myself, even though they didn't know I was gay. I'm also really scared to tell anyone other than my immediate family and close friends that I'm gay. I've always been very uncomfortable with sex in general, and I hate that when people I know find out I'm gay, they're going to potentially be thinking, "Ew, he dates guys?" So I've been avoiding coming out to my neighbors and relatives because if I do, I'm just going to feel gross around them.
