Hey everyone, I was wondering if I could get some feedback or advice. Long story short, I always knew I was gay (was physically attracted to the same sex) and I was eventually falling for my straight best friend. Around this time, I would probably deny that I had feelings for him, but now I am fully accepting of the fact that I was falling for him. I never really had many friends growing up, and I considered him to be like a brother to me. This was around my sophomore to senior years of high school, so we were roughly 15-18 years old. As most know, this age is kind of the age where girlfriends come into play, and often the first relationship ever. My best friend (we stopped being friends senior year) got his first girlfriend sophomore year (or maybe it was junior year... I cant fully remember). During this time, he always wanted to hang with her and I just felt left out. Sometimes he wouldn't even hang out with me because he was with her all the time. Now I understand that this is normal, but I just felt really hurt. This was when my depression kicked in, and of course it was because I was falling for my best friend. I became so depressed, that our friendship became very toxic. He would sometimes even joke and say that I was like his second girlfriend because of the ways I acted. Anyways, I chose FaceBook for my venting, and I regret that so much. I was the type of person who was posting depressing things, and it eventually caused people to hate me. People deleted me on FB, and I had ultimately destroyed my "image" to most people. To this day, people still deny my friend requests on FB (people who I played Football with and I thought we were real friends), and most accept my Instagram follow request but don't follow me back. Now am I right to assume that if people don't follow me back on Instagram (people who I went to High school with) that they don't like me/hate me? Or am I just being stupid and getting depressed over something stupid? Also, there are some people who I'm friends with on FB that don't EVER acknowledge my posts (I assume they unfollow me, but are still my FB friend), but I acknowledge theirs all the time. This has really been depressing me, and I know it shouldn't. I shouldn't care what people think about me, but I do. I just want to be liked by everyone, but I now know that I wont. And the truth is, is that I will never even see these people ever again. IN fact, it has been almost 6 years that I have even seen anyone from high school.
Tan, Don't try to make everyone happy. It will never happen. I wouldn't rely on social media either. It's too easy to get your self hurt. Much of our communication comes from expressions and body language, none of that happens on Facebook. If old friends don't like ya, #### them! Time to make some new friends! Take Care young man! Dean
Dean, you're amazing! That you for a response. I swear, there are so many more negatives than positives to social media, and I let them all affect me. I let the 10 or so people affect me, more than the 500+ positive people who actually care about me. I don't know why it hurts me so bad, but The better questions is WHY I let it hurt me. You're so right about how you can't make everyone happy. I will take your advice to heart, and use that whenever I'm feeling down. Thanks again dean!
Hi TanMan, As someone much older than you I hope I can offer a wider perspective on things. You do seem somewhat hung up on all the social media stuff. That does make sense in a way as you have grown up with social media always being a part of your life; even still you seem to have an awareness that it probably shouldn't care so much about it-and I would agree with you! I grew up in a time long before social media. Therefore communication, being friends (or not) with people was all based on real life interactions...where we could read body language and pick up on social cues that simply aren't there in a social media forum. Now I am on FB etc., but still, it just doesn't matter that much. Who you're friends with on FB, who likes/doesn't like your posts etc. just doesn't reflect real life or have any bearing on your 'worth'. People who went to my high school who I wasn't even friends with at all have friended me on FB. Thats fine too, of course I'll accept those requests--but it certainly doesn't reflect our real life circumstances. I guess what I am trying to say is as your life widens, through work or school or whatever, as you make new contacts, new friends, new relationships you will find that social media really does take a back seat. You won't care about it who follows/doesn't follow you etc. --as a matter of fact my guess is you won't even care to check. And you're right. Not everyone will like you, and you will not like everyone. That's just the way it is for everybody. Tough to see now but my guess is that 25 years from now it will be those same people who seem important but don't accept your social media requests now actually friending you then! And you may even be scratching your head thinking, 'hmmm I know that name...wait...who was that guy?' :icon_bigg
