So this is my first time writing about myself and knowing that I AM gay. I think I've finally came to terms about my sexuality, something that I never gave too much thought, since I thought I just loved people. I never looked at myself as being straight, gay or bi. But this changed in January. I was bored on this chatting website (we all know what that is) when I finally met this guy. He was gay as well, and we started talking in English, and when I saw that he was having trouble understanding what I was saying, I realized that we actually spoke the same language - Portuguese - although a sea separated us physically; I was in Portugal and he was in Brazil. So we started talking in Portuguese for about a hour and a half, and when he had to go to sleep, we decided to change our numbers so we could talk via whatsapp, and also our facebook profiles. The very next day, we talked again via facebook for like three hours, using our webcam. I had no mic so I could only hear him and type down in return. But knowing that this would never work and that it was a turn off for the whole conversation, I bought one the following day, and later that night, we started talking again, now that we both could hear each other. Eventually we started talking on a daily basis, and we even watched a movie together via skype, it was so weird but at the same time felt amazingly great. It was like we were together in real life. When he asked me where I used to watch tv shows and stuff, I said that I used to use Netflix but with school fees I had to cancel my subscription -- he then told me that I could use his account. It was so nice of him, it really made my day. A week later, he said he was going to travel because he had some business to take care of, and even though we would not be able to see each other, we could still talk via whatsapp. And that happened -- he shared pictures of the places he went, his hotel, even the food he was eating. I tried to do the same thing, although I had not much to show, but I did my best -- showed him my university, the landscape, the train, the bus, that sort of stuff. At night, when he would be back to the hotel, we would chat again for a long time before deciding that it was time for both of us to go to sleep. We were constantly saying to each other that we missed talking and seeing each other at the same time, and we had some fun time (not sexy time together or anything, like, genuinely FUN time). Eventually, on a more serious conversation, I told him that I was trying to "break free" from my parents, that I wanted to be an independent guy. He invited me to go live with him, if I wanted too. I said that he was crazy, because we lived an ocean apart, but as we started talking, I saw that it was a great opportunity. He seemed so excited about the idea, and so was I. But knowing that it was a decision that couldn't be taken that easily, I told him that I would visit him in July for 2 weeks, just so we could see if our chemistry online would match our chemistry in real life. This happened for like two weeks, and the day he was to come back home, I sent him a message saying "Have a safe trip back home". He saw the message but didn't reply. He was to come back home on Tuesday, and on Wednesday I asked him if we could finally talk later that night. Now this is where things get weird: there was only a "tick" on that message, and now I couldn't see "the last active" thing on ********. So I suppose he blocked me, but I'm still not quite sure about that. I tried to reach him on Facebook the same day (he had told me that his cell phone was broken and that he was using his sister's while he was travelling, so I thought that maybe he had to hand it back to her and that's why he didn't receive the messages), but he didn't see the message on Facebook. In my head, I tried to imagine that he was tired and that he would like to have some sleep time, and that was the reason why he didn't see the message, and since Facebook didn't say that he saw the message, I believed it. The next day (yesterday), as soon as I saw that he was online, I sent him another message on Facebook, just asking "Hey! How was your day?" (the same way I always did) -- a minute later, he went offline (but I could still see the option to call him, something that doesn't happen when someone is actually offline) -- again he ignored me or didn't really see the message. What doesn't make sense to me is, why he would block me on Whatsapp and not on Facebook? And why would he ignore me, if I think I did nothing wrong? I really like this guy, never felt so happy with a man, and if doesn't text me back in a week, I swear to God that I will try to understand what's wrong. I'm thinking about messaging his sister to ask her if she knows anything (although she doesn't know me and she most likely never heard of me), and if things don't get better, I will go to Brazil to see him. I need to understand what caused this sudden change. I don't love him, that's impossible, but I was really digging him and I felt like he was the right guy. Please help me!
I know this is really hard, especially because you two seemed to be getting along so well. But know that this happens, and happens in 'real life' relationships too. Sometimes people disappear...with no explanation, and sometimes you just NEVER know why. It's frustrating because we all want an explanation, we want that WHY question answered. There are a tons of possibilities here. Maybe the prospect of getting together in real life scared him. Maybe he's one of those guys who just likes these online things, and know he could have been talking with others too. Maybe he met someone new. Who knows. But bottom line here is he is no longer contacting you. He knows how to contact you, he has seen your messages, but is choosing not to. What site he blocked you on, didn't block you on or whatever is unimportant. So yes, at this point I would consider that this is over. I would not contact his sister. Maybe he will try to contact you again in the coming weeks-even have a 'good excuse'--who knows. But if he does it's important to remember how he pulled this disappearing act once and is likely to do it again. So I would turn my interests elsewhere. I've been through this disappearing act thing. I think many people have. My advice would be to not to spend a lot of time wondering why, and just move on! Best of luck to you!
Thanks for your honesty. This has happened to me before, but since I wasn't that much interested in the guy, I just let it go. But this time is different. I like him a lot. I feel like we have a lot of chemistry. The good news is -- he contacted me two days ago. And I was right about him not being able to text me, because his cell phone was broken and he had no way to say anything. Yesterday we kept texting each other throughout the day, but I'm definitely going to pay attention to the signs. We never know what might happen. Thank you!
