Hello, So this'll be my first thread, I've been reading a whole lot of threads here and there before creating a forum account and I've seen some similar situations to mine but not quite. I am an Arab, I am 20 years old and I was born and raised in the U.A.E. Life isn't bad in the U.A.E, it's actually quite great, but only if you follow what is socially acceptable. Herein lays my problem. I am gay, not openly gay but gay nonetheless. I don't behave in a manner that would give me away ( at least that's what I think ), and I try not to say things that would bring any attention to me but yet somehow, people know. Of course, I deny it, I have to.. the punishments over here are brutal, and that's only talking about the legal punishments. All my life I've been the subject of abuse, whether it be from my family or from complete strangers who I've never met. Making friends is almost impossible due to the intolerant culture and whatnot. Don't get me wrong, I try to make friends but there seems to be a problem with the way I talk or behave that throws red signals instantly which in turn angers the people I try to talk to. All I've ever known are online friends, but that just doesn't suffice. A person can't just live in the virtual world forever or at least I can't. For as long as I can remember, my family has been struggling financially, due to my dad not wanting to work, which makes my mom the sole provider for the entire family. I would help pitch in if jobs were easy to find, but they aren't. I've been trying to find one for the past 6 months since I graduated. Don't get me wrong, my family despises me, they despise gay people and ''hope they get thrown off of the tallest building, because god used to drag the gay people up until they could hear the howls of the hell hounds'' but a person shouldn't have to suffer to support a deadbeat dad and a family of 7 on their own. Also, I need money to leave this country for good. College is out of the question, barely finished school due to transportation issues ( we do not own a car, relied solely on neighbors and public transportation ). Keeping in mind that I've never ever came out. My parents still see me as an embarrassment, the rumors spread like wildfire amongst the Arab community ( doesn't matter whether they are true or not ) and a person could be reduced to nothing in a matter of hours. I have absolutely no clue on how to move forward when there's literally no one, and by no one, I mean NO ONE to support me with anything. How do I move on with no family, no friends and no governmental support? I really have no idea what I can do with my life at this point. I hope y'all are having a good day, I don't intend this to be depressing or anything, I just am really lost.
Hi there - Welcome to EC! I'm sorry you're going through all this. It sounds like getting out of the UAE as fast as possible. As to how you might do that...I'm certainly not an expert on this, but based on past threads I've seen on the topic, could you... a) Try to apply for asylum to a more tolerant country. Canada or various parts of Europe of the US, for example. If there's an embassy or consulate you could go to, you could maybe talk to someone about what is involved. b) Try to get in contact with some of the LGBT friendly Muslim mosques and organizations around the world (Yes, they do exist) and see if they can provide you with guidance and resources to go somewhere else. If you do a google search on 'gay friendly mosques' a number of entries pop up. Also, there is a US based organization called Muslims for Progressive Values that might be able to put you in touch with someone who can help. c) Could you potentially get a job that requires you to spend a lot of time overseas? Working on a ship? Airline employee? Something else? As far as not having family support and such - something that LGBT folks having been doing for much of our history is having to create our own families and support networks because many of us our rejected by our biological families and the more 'traditional' social groupings. Things are getting better in some places, but that tradition still continues. If you can get somewhere that is more tolerant/supportive you can start to meet people and build those family/support networks for yourself. Hope this helps and all the best to you, Todd
