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My 1st blog post from my first day on here..

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by DreamonRose, Mar 1, 2017.

  1. DreamonRose

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    So I am 14 and I am just confused about life. In 7th grade I caught feelings for a female and I didn't know what was happening. My mom found out I was "hanging out" with this girl and I told her I was pretending to like girls to be their friends. She hit me a little. She told me I was going to hell whatever. Now I am in 9th grade and I fell so hard for this girl named Abbie. She is bi. I started thinking about it and I have never felt anywhere near that way for a guy. So now in my head I am gay... a lesbian....but I don't like that word. My family is full of Christians that will disown me. I believe in God and what he can do for you. I find it hard to believe that he won't accept anyone for who they are. He loves all his children Gay or Straight. If anyone actually reads this. I just need some help with deciding what I am. I need guidance. I can't ever come out if I don't have my own clarifications...
     
  2. Iliricon

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    Coming out in a conservative, homophobic environment is tough, that is for sure. I declined to add the determiner Christian intentionally, because homophobia is really not compatible with Christianity in my own interpretation. Christianity is about accepting people with all their sins and mistakes (ok, being gay isn't one, but go along with it) and doing our best to follow Jesus and making this world a better place. I have ZERO respect for people who confuse their own bigotry with religion!

    If you want something more theological, there are a lot of good videos on YouTube, taking apart most homophobic exegesis. This video is a good starter (though I don't like the argument very much, as he basically considers gay as the fall back alternative, if a heterosexual relationship isn't for you) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezQjNJUSraY


    Not liking the word lesbian is also quite common, we even had a thread with users from different countries who all didn't like the terms for homosexuality in their own language. The words gay, lesbian can be very difficult, because the are till used a curses very often. But, nonetheless, those are just labels, you neither have to like them nor to use them. I think you already have your answers, but please keep in mind, that your own perception of yourself can change. You don't have to be sure of anything, being unsure is legit. And even changing your identity is valid. I understand that you don't want to come out in vain, but you don't have to come out. Start discovering yourself, you are still very young.

    You deserve love, whoever you are, no matter if you are gay, or straight, or bi, or anything else. God surely loves you if (s)he exists and anybody who tells you different is plainly wrong. Your happiness s most important, so try to go where you want to go. If your family doesn't accept you, that is very painful, but you wont be dependent on them forever. And most parents sooner or later discover that they love their children, no matter what. You might want to take a look at the "It gets better" series, if you don't believe me ;-)
     
    #2 Iliricon, Mar 4, 2017
    Last edited: Mar 4, 2017
  3. DreamonRose

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    Thanks for your opinions and advice. I am not really sure of what response to give but I really liked everything you said. You seem very wise.
     
  4. Lexington

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    Welcome to EC!

    It sounds like you've got yourself doped out pretty well. Since it seems your family isn't going to be supportive in regards to your sexuality, I'd suggest simply hanging tight. Don't bring it up with them. Let us be your support network for anything in regards to your sexuality for the time being. Once you're graduated and moved out of their house, you can start dating. It might suck to have to hold off for another couple of years, but it'll definitely be worth it in the long run. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  5. DreamonRose

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    Thank you. That makes alot of sense because if my family wants to disown me I still have somewhere to live.