They're performing a musical in our state's capital city and my mom is thinking of letting me go with my dad. I'm really excited and I want to go badly except I'm afraid of being alone with my dad. He used to be physically abusive towards me when we were alone (when I was younger) and he's still emotionally abusive sometimes. My mom doesn't know about anything. I'm more worried because I feel like some of the things he did had some sexual elements...maybe not but I'm 16 now so, there's no way to say this without sounding gross, I'm more developed now and I'd feel weird having to share a hotel room. It's only for a day or two so it probably won't be a problem. But I don't know for sure. I've wanted to see this for ages and it's my chance to do something cool as a teenager for once. I know it shouldn't be a hard decision to make but it just is. I don't know if I have a better chance of presenting as male or female, he doesn't like me as male because he doesn't want me to be a freak and he doesn't like that I'm more confident but I thought I'd look stronger that way. So, will I be okay?
Honestly, I don't know. I don't think it's a good idea to do it if you're not sure that it'll be okay. Nothing in the end is worth being abused by someone because you never know how bad it could be. Is there anybody else that can take you? I myself don't know the exact details, only you do. I think you should definitely discuss this with someone, because otherwise it could get worse and you'd have nobody to fall back on. If you are 100% sure you'd be safe, then I would say do it. However, it seems like he still doesn't treat you well. I'd really encourage you to try and see if anybody else can take you, whether it be a relative or someone else you're comfortable with. Sorry that I can't say much more, but I really hope you get to see that musical, please stay safe <3
I think you will be fine. I might be replying late and I am sorry if so. I think you should go and stand your ground that is who you are so let him be butthurt that you are confident
I think that applies to the identity issue, but I'm not sure if that's the best route for him to go when it comes to addressing the abuse. Obviously, it is up to him, but I think it is best for us to not fully force any strong opinions about that topic on him
If the idea becomes too unbearable, could you ask your mom to take you? You could suggest to her that it be a "Girls Trip" or something similar without letting on your real reason.
I can understand why you would be uncomfortable with the arrangements at the age of 16. I try to imagine what I would do if taking my daughter on a trip when she's that age. I think I'd try to get a suite at least. I imagine we would both be uncomfortable staying in the same room but I also wouldn't be comfortable just getting her her own separate room. Can you ask him to get a suite?
