I am in a bit of a dilemma. I work with this beautiful woman and we hang outside of work sometimes. We will go on runs or catch a bite to eat and are really flirty with one another. We both are lesbians who are both attracted to each, which wouldn't be a problem but we both have girlfriends. :eusa_naug However! Both of our girlfriends don't live in the same city. My girlfriend I haven't seen in months and she lives like 10 states away, while her gf lives 10 cities away. Naturally, we both need to get affection (if ya know what I mean). The last time I saw her we got really affectionate, but didn't do anything sexual. We both told each other that we find each other attractive, and we then started cuddling. When we cuddled, we played with each other's hair, massaged one another, lightly touched each other's skin, and concentrated on each other's erogenous zones (neck, waist, lower back). We mentioned that we'd like to kiss one another, but we didn't do anything but essentially tease one another. Is this cheating?
Some would see it as cheating, some won't. In my opinion, if I find out that the person I'm dating, be it male or female, is doing stuff like this with their co-worker, I would definitely be upset, and might even break up with them over it. I've been cheated on too many times before, so I am highly sensitive about it. So if you want my opinion, yes it is the beginning of cheating (And clearly serious enough for you to post about it on here). The distance both of your girlfriends are away from you, are irrelevant in this case. Just because they're out of sight, doesn't mean they should be out of mind. If you feel that there's more to it than "innocent fun" (which isn't really all that innocent) then both of you should rather end your current relationships and then you can continue. For now, though, I think you should stop putting yourselves in situations where things can possibly get heated enough to progress to kissing and/or sex. Just my two cents.
Yeah, that all makes sense. For me - my girlfriend and I said it would be okay to see other people while we were away (after having this type of relationship after a year, it just started to feel weird to do things with other people), but I just feel like I shouldn't (even though I also feel like I want to).
Because of how long I've lived without a serious relationship, and my lack of eagerness to have sex or other relations with others even though I want a relationship badly, I still don't think it's ever wise to have a long distance relationship unless the person you are dating is so perfect to your ideal match that no one else could compare. If I'm in a relationship, I'm there for the emotional and physical connection, because we all need both. If you've been with your current girlfriend a long time, I can understand being willing to stay together long distance. But from what I understand, long distance relationships are best when they're only temporary: either because one of you is on a business trip, one of you is looking for work and a stable living situation so the other can then move with them, or one of you is finishing school and will soon return. But if the long distance between you both is indefinite, then I don't honestly see the point. It just seems unfair both ways to always be apart and not have the physical aspect. All of this is not my way of condoning your actions with your coworker, but rather, this is my way of pointing out why it may be more sensible to break things off and be more honest with you and your current girlfriend, as you clearly have needs that she cannot take care of.
In that case, have you considered talking to your girlfriend about this? Like "i know this girl, this happened, would that be ok?". Cheating happens when you hide things from your partner. If both parts are ok with it, then it's ok. If not, then you two need to talk and decide how to solve the situation.
That totally makes sense, too! Actually my gf is I'm school and coming back in May and I'm visiting her in a week. ---------- Post added 7th Mar 2017 at 08:50 AM ---------- This has been probably the best advice. I was just thinking of how the conversation could be scary, but you're totally right - I just need to talk to her.
I think the question really does just come down to would you tell your girlfriend what you're doing? If you would have no problem telling her and she wouldn't be upset, then you're fine. If you feel you need to hide it from her, then that's a problem. Of course if you have already discussed being in an open relationship (with whatever limits you may have imposed) and decided "don't ask, don't tell" is how you will approach things, then you're fine as well.
That's exactly what we have! We said we'd do a "don't ask, don't tell" unless it's significant. Yet, I told her a month ago that I'd like to be more exclusive over the phone. So, I think I need to just tell her ---------- Post added 7th Mar 2017 at 11:20 PM ---------- Thanks for all the advice, everyone!!
